Differently

The new Marion Hill song is amazing. All their music is, but this is just...wow.

I'm gonna play this on repeat while I work tonight :)

But There Are Good Days Too

Last night I complained about marketing being too much work. I complained about writing being hard. I wrung my hands in frustration because every word I put on the page felt like I was stepping in mud, and it was weighing me down, and I'd never be able to finish another book.


Then, I took a break. Counted to five. Opened my wip. And I wrote 6000 words, almost without stopping.


There are good days.


You can power through writers block.


It just takes a lot of willpower. And lots of coffee. And maybe the chapter you put down isn't your best, but it has something special to it, some little flair you love, that's keeping you excited for when the time to edit comes. Sometimes that can be enough.


Rewards are little things when you write all day. We work alone. It's stressful, and tiring, and sometimes the best feeling in the world is knowing you hit the 6k mark, and that tomorrow might be a little easier.

The Struggle Is Real

Marketing is torture. Seriously. It's the worst part of being self-published.

My books won't sell if I don't push them on people, but my anxiety refuses to let me. It also makes writing painful sometimes. Like tonight. Which is why I'm writing this blog post instead to rant about it.

Sometimes when I'm writing it feels like I'm flying, and I hammer out like seven thousand words in a sitting and walk away glowing, feeling like a boss. And then sometimes, like tonight, literally nothing sounds more painful than writing.

I'm struggling to put down a single chapter, let alone more than a thousand or two words. It's uncomfortable and it has me on edge.

Normally when it isn't flowing, I just do something else. Tonight I'm forcing myself to keep going, because I'm determined to put out two novellas next month, but I have to be honest, every word feels painful. Even this blog post is giving me difficulty.

Sometimes I can sit down and write about whatever is in my head--I talk about stupid tv shows I like or what I'm listening to. And sometimes that's fun. Most of the time it is. Then there are nights like this, where it feels pointless, like I'm just adding to the noise and I have nothing important or useful or meaningful to say.

The truth is, some of the joy goes out of writing once you start having to constantly stress over the financial aspects of it. I'm worried about how good my writing is or what vibes I should go for with a project, and then it's compounded with whether or not it will even sell, or how I'll get reviews for it when I can't even email a book blogger without having a mild identity crisis.

I know I'm not the only one who goes through it, either, but this can be a really lonely profession. We all feel that. I get it.

Still, it sucks.

For tonight, I'm just going to remind myself I've done this before and I can do it again, too. I've written 50,000 words in five days. I've written 75,000 words in fourteen days. I can do this. I've finished seven books, what's one more, in the grand scheme of things?

I'm going to take a deep breath. Keep writing. And hope for the best.

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HOUSE OF INK IS OUT!

House of Ink is finally out! The pre-order was only ten days, but it felt like forever. I mean, like, ages. Please go give it some love on Amazon if you can!

I love this book, y'all.

It's short, sexy, simple. It's giving my Cosmo Knox pen name some much-needed attention, because I feel like I haven't published anything steamy there in a while.

I'm going to be doing some book reviews in the future (under the post moniker Curious Compass Reviews) so keep an eye out for those posts! It will mostly be m/m romance reviews, with other fantasy titles thrown in here and there for good measure.

That's all I really got for y'all today.

Please, PLEASE (with double cherries on top) go buy and/or borrow House of Ink on Amazon, and hopefully post a review. You can get the story HERE.