Oh My Rapture by Gemma White Review: The Voice Poetry Needs

But I felt safe there painting orange teapots

outlining women in Texta with the mysterious green eyes

Some days I could even feel that my soul was still alive

Such a crappy small town 

FINALLY SOME GOOD FUCKING FOOD. Seriously though, I've read a lot of poetry today and a lot of it was really bad. This broke the mold and gave me a shot of something fresh; a unique, strong voice, a genuine personality and identity, a distinct artistic sensibility. This is an actual person and an actual artist with opinions and a personality who is not trying to be like everybody else or to be an airbrushed version of themselves, and that is so fucking refreshing these days.

The poems in this collection, and Gemma White's voice in general, were so enjoyable and refreshing for the same reason Ethel Cain's music and lyrics are: she provides a reality, a look at something true, not a glamourized ideal.

There is a genuineness and an honesty and a refusal to polish the truth or airbrush out every microscopic flaw here that feels just so bold and down to earth, so grounded, but also so manic and so insecure and uncertain. Yet also strong, risky, beautiful.

To be clear I don't have bipolar but I definitely have some kind of mood disorder and mental instability has and always will be a part of my life. I'm lucky because my manic episodes are not dangerous or half as embarrassing as other people experience: I've heard from people whose manic episodes lead them to truly endanger themselves, people who love their manic episodes and people who hate them. I usually enjoy mine, they tend to last anywhere from 2 to 3 days and I feel energized, slightly strung-out, but in a sharp, crystalline way. I feel like I'm in sync with myself and the universe and I burn up with creative energy and do a ton of random artsy stuff and make a mess, but when I come out of it the worst that's happened is I'm sleep-deprived, a little emotional, and the house is messy.

But for others obviously manic episodes, mood and personality disorders, etc, are more serious or more powerful. It takes a lot of character to develop this level of self-awareness of your mode of functioning and experiencing the universe, where you can feel both the shame and the joy, appreciate what sets you apart and your unique perspective, grasp that you have experiences others don't and you're allowed to revel in moments of joy and adrenaline, but also acknowledge that it's a weakness in many ways and can bring shame, danger, etc.

The musings on bipolar experiences here were incredible. But also White's refusal to mope or throw herself a pity party. And her jab at poets who do constantly throw themselves pity parties. Her willingness to poke fun at herself, celebrate herself, acknowledge shame and regret in the past while also knowing her worth and having a true sense of love and purpose for art and a knowledge that it's her purpose. These poems really, really resonated with me.

There is something

Sacred and healing

That happens when I write

When I paint

When I create songs

Maybe I am closer to God

Maybe the bad things can't find me here

Hi hello my head is bald. Gemma White has me by the scalp!

Is everything equally sacred and profane?

Her musings on topics most poets find taboo like sex, masturbation, bodily functions, etc, are so matter-of-fact but not vulgar or showing off, she's not being a douche about it, like "Look how cool I am! I talk about things other poets won't!" ironically, when she talks about stuff like masturbation, it's not masturbatory, she's not patting herself on the back here for breaking the mold, you can tell she just really doesn't care to censor herself and doesn't give a fuck. These are her poems, this is what it is, take it or leave it.

Oh my mystery, oh my darkness

oh my rapture, oh my music

I was absolutely enchanted by this collection. I cannot believe this writer isn't going absolutely breakout viral. I was actually blown away both by her obviously good taste but also by her skill and execution.

I would absolutely recommend giving this a chance for anybody who likes poetry or is curious about it. This is a modern voice, this is a poet with a fucking brain, some opinions, and some god damn taste. This is what we need right now.

Huge thanks to NetGalley for the chance to read this lovely art.

I don't want to be a good poet

I want to be a naughty one!

House of Ink ARCS

House of Ink ARCS are available now on InstaFreebie! I'm super excited for people to read this. It's fun and hot and fluffy, and I still can't stop drooling over the cover...

 

*Swoons*

 If you do grab an ARC, please post a review on Amazon when you're done! I'd love to hear what people think of this one :)

Pop Culture is Killing Me

I feel like my blogs have been really dark and personal lately, and while it's important to me to talk about personal stuff to form a connection with my readers and show who I am, I also feel like it's fun to keep stuff light and recap-y and, well, bloggy. And I like talking about pop culture. So much that it's almost all I do.

I'm working on a side project right now while I take a short break from everything, and it's just something to take my mind off stuff when I crave the motion of typing or thinking about storytelling. It's just an expanded version of a short story I wrote almost two years ago, but it's in a different pov and verb tense, and it's bery Richelle Mead. Or, well, as Richelle Mead as I get - my writing is a lot more mope-y and emo than hers, but still.

Anyway, while I'm writing I'm collecting a bunch of good music, bust last night I stumbled across Same Old Love by Selena Gomez and I'm loving this song. It's different than anything she's done before, but still familiar. I like that there's an electronic element, but she's letting it be pop. She's not forcing it to be a dance track and it's really glamour. There's something almost Amy Winehouse about it, and I love it. I've had it on repeat for an hour while I cooked eggs and fried mash potatoes for breakfast. Also coffee, because coffee.

It really fits the story, too, because the main character and her love interest are both the kind of girls who like to wear glamorous dresses and give sass. This is ya paranormal, but it's so chick-lit it's one of the funnest things I've ever written.

I'm also really loving Dangerous by Big Data, even though the music video grosses me the hell out, and Coattails by Broods.

I'm reading Siege and Storm by Leigh Bardugo, and I'm worried because there's so much to read I don't know if I can get to all my arcs in time! I don't want to waste the arcs, but these book shopping sprees might have me knee-deep in catch-up with my actual books so long the ebook arcs expire.

expensive habits...

I did just read a physical arc of Pretending to be Erica by Michelle Painchaud that her publisher sent me, though, and I have to say - I loved it. You can read my review of that here. I really like heist stories, so that was nice, even if it was more contemporary. But Michelle Painchaud is awesome on Twitter, and her book is full of some pretty awesome stuff too. Like cute boys and emotional trauma. That kind of awesome.

Right now I'm just hoping my royalties pay out soon because as soon as I get my next payment I can buy a new laptop off of kijiji or something and pick up the pace with work. I desperately need a new (well, new to me) computer, because mine is nearly six years old and ready to retire. Once I get a new one I'm hoping I can work more and do more as far as youtube videos and blogs and stuff go. I can also do more with Diverse Tomes, which would be nice.

As it is, you can find Diverse Tomes on Facebook and Tumblr now. It's a platform I use to talk about and dissect diversity - or the lack of it - in the young adult genre, and in other teen oriented culture. So that's cool, and you should probably check it out.

What else? I haven't had a red bull in so long that it's killing me. It's raining today and I'm going to light some incense and make coffee and do homework when I'm done writing this. I'll be writing and posting another blog earlier because I should post on this blog more. When I'm done homework I'll probably work on that project I was just talking about for a bit. And then crash.

Keep an eye out for a post on becoming a beta-reader or recieving arcs of this project because I want to put some out as soon as I finish it.

(I'm hoping to squeeze in one more release besides SOSAS in 2015, because Shadows doesn't come until 2016, ditto another project I can't talk about yet.) And then I have two books coming out in 2017 as well - a duology. After that I'm up in arms. I might aim for traditional publishing with anything after that, but we'll see how it goes...