Back On the Reality Train

I have no clue what happened in the last few days, but I really let some things slip. Work-wise, things have been fine. I'm making steady progress on . . . things (not all of which I can talk about yet) and feeling really inspired.

But damn, my diet has been in flux. I was on a vegetarian diet for about nine or ten days, but I caved and ate some meatloaf one day and never really got back on that diet. I'll be starting that again tomorrow, and I'm not really worried about maintaining it, just angry I let it slip in the first place.

I've been trying to focus on my health - both mental and physical - this year, and while I feel like it's been a success so far, I also feel like I could be doing more.

I guess the point is I always feel like I could be doing more, even when I'm already doing a lot. But recently I started doing a lot less, since I was stressing out about, well, everyone. Kuma came out for a few days to hang out and I let myself slack off then, too. The important thing is that I'm back on track now and I'm juggling school and work well enough that I should be ready for the upcoming semester and book stuff that I have planned.

I have some things I haven't announced yet that I'm looking forward to talking about and sharing, but I can't do that for a few days - maybe even a week - and it's excruciating. :)

So now, instead of blogging about it, I'm going to go and get back to work!

Something Meatless

So. The vegetarian thing is still going. I'm losing bits of my sanity every time someone in the house cooks meat, but I haven't cracked yet.

I woke up at twelve am and it's four in the morning now, so I should start working for a while, because I have a bunch of homework to do today as well, and I want to get my daily editing out of the way.

But first I have to go make something to eat. Something meatless. Ugh.

Things That Need To Stop

A List:

1. Random racist people popping up in my Tumblr inbox to tell me they should get away with saying blatantly anti-Native stuff.
2. My brother coming home with little to no warning. (I like my brother: I like him better from a distance.)
3. My Mom cooking Chicken and then doing her best to convince me to eat it even though I told her before I took a nap this morning that I was going vegetarian.
4. My jaw randomly hurting every time I open or close my mouth.
5. Poverty.
6. Sobriety.
7. The world, maybe?

I don't know. As you can see, I'm agitated as hell tonight. I think I might punch somebody.

I feel a lot better than I did before sleeping, at least, but I'm still generally pissed at the world. That was my mental illness acting up. This is actual, rational emotion. So I don't know why the things that annoy me decided to collaborate and make this the day I go to the pen, but they did.

I'm going to focus on working on SOSAS and lock myself in my room so I don't have to deal with my family, since avoiding human interaction for the next few hours seems like my best bet.

I do have a few errands I might have to go into the city for tomorrow morning after everyone wakes up, though, and that troubles me. I mean, I can definitely handle going out and dealing with the real world. I don't really want to, but I can.

So that's where I'm at right now: annoyed and trying not to be a bitch and wishing things were different, even though that's pointless because I can't change them.