Co-Writing a Novel and Other Wild Happenings

Remember my cousin Amelia? The one I went on vacation with this summer? The one I have a matching tattoo with? Well, her new pen name is Winter Rose, and she's making her literary debut in a book we're co-writing together, Mirror, I Am.

There's a new page for Mirror, I Am at the top of the blog. I'd say it's paranormal, but it's more contemporary with paranormal aspects. I mean, it's got full-on magic, a race of psychics called Talents, our main characters are a girl who can astral project and a girl who can track people using their personal possessions. But the main plots are about human things, and relationships between people. It's all about the characters, their families, their grief.

Definitely check out the book page here on the blog, as well as the Goodreads page! For now, here's a glimpse at our main characters:

Mine:

And Winter's:

God, it feels good to be a full-time artist again!

The Indigo Horde Soundtrack

I'm going to write The Indigo Horde back to back with its sequel, and submit the duology to some small publishers, so I won't be posting any more chapters on Wattpad. I will, however, be posting a few snippets. And talking about the process a lot.

Today, I chose the soundtrack. I also wrote a chapter, and the query, and refined my outline. I can't share those, but I can share the soundtrack, so I'm doing that here. I'll probably be able to share a Pinterest board with you guys soon, soo!

The Indigo Horde

-playlist-

1) Sippy Cup by Melanie Martinez

2) Ties by Years and years

3) If You Go Away by Emiliana Torrini

4) Preach by Daniel Johns

5) Becomes the Color by Emily Wells

6) Perfect Life by Red

7) In The Dark by Cathedrals

8) My House by PVRIS

9) Freedom by Anthony Hamilton

10) Bad Habit by the Kooks

11) First by The Cold War Kids

12) Bite by Troye Sivan

13) Revolving Doors by Gorillaz

14) Dangerous by Big Data

15) Without You by Junip

16) Technicolour Beat by Oh Wonder

17) Let You Go by the Chainsmokers

18) Black Sheep by Gin Wigmore

Yup. Those are the songs that sum this book up best. And they're all really fucking good, so, there's that. I'll be making an actual 8tracks playlist of these in a day or two, but until then, you can find them all on youtube.

Bath & Body Works, Acoustic Guitar, and Misadventures in Exercise

So, my seasonal finally ended, and I'm back to being a full-time slug. At least, until the next semester of school starts. Of course, I'll still be working all day every day; I'll just be doing it at home, in my pajamas. I'm still editing SOSAS, and drafting The Indigo Horde (fun!) but I also have school work, and a new diet, and a new instrument and language to learn. So, yeah. I'm learning French at the moment, and I got an acoustic guitar for Christmas - which I asked for, and am over the moon to get - that I now have to learn.

As far as the new diet? I'm cutting out all junk food, all red meat, and adding thirty minutes of exercise a day. In the past I've only been exercising a couple times a week, and then I got my job and stopped altogether, because I figured that was exercise enough - and I was mostly right, since I lost like 8 pounds while working at that store. I started eating a lot as Christmas got closer, especially Chinese takeout and pizza, along with Christmas dinner and all the chocolate I got in my stocking. So, yeah. Not good. I also binged on soda while drinking (because as much as I love shots, I wasn't drinking an entire pint of vodka straight) along with vodka coolers and lemonades that I'm sure are calorie killers.

So, yeah, cutting alcohol out of the new diet, too. I'll probably drink again in the future, but most likely not until we're well into summer. I like to keep drinking a once-in-a-while kind of thing anyway, because I've had problems with self-medicating with it in the past. It's not a problem now, but I still try to stay mindful when it comes to casual drinking, as well.

So, yeah, that's what I have to look forward to over the next few weeks: a lot of work. I mean, it's fun work, but still.

Since my seasonal is over, I guess I can talk more openly about it now? I was working the Christmas rush at Bath and Body Works, and I honestly have no desire to ever step into a mall again. Shoppers are annoying. I'm sure I'm annoying to employees at stores too, though.

I basically went around un-boxing and shelving stuff, though I ended up working the floor and helping customers a lot, too, since I was out there so much. I don't really know what to say about it. It was fun. And exhausting. Really exhausting.

Half of that, was commute time, but the other half was just me. I'm not generally used to being around people all day, anymore, and it drained me. At the same time, the work was hard and I often didn't bring a lunch (I don't like carrying shit around, so that's on me) so I was constantly tired and hungry and in a mild state of anxiety. It only got really bad once, I think my second to last week - I had an anxiety attack and ended up leaving. I told my boss I had to go because I just didn't feel good, but I was honestly about to burst into tears. I have no idea why I freaked out like that, so I guess I was just overwhelmed that day. I think it was a valid learning experience, and I did gain some confidence just from being around people that often, but I'm glad it's over and I get a short break for a while.

Well, a break from going out every day. Not a break from working.

I've also done a lot of shopping lately. I bought myself one of those adult coloring books, and a few actual novels, along with a sketchbook. I grabbed a new hat and some candles. I think I'm going to buy some new incense the next time I go out, because those stick are cheap and I haven't had any in a while.

I also bought some video games. I got Saints Row 3 (we used to have it for xbox, and I missed it, so I grabbed one for the ps3 and I'm just as addicted as I was before) and Enslaved, Odyssey to the West. I would probably be playing those now, honestly, but my brother and his girlfriend are watching some mafia show on the big screen, and my cousin Amelia is passed out on my bed behind me (she had the bright idea to pull an all-nighter and then ditched me before it was even eleven o'clock!) and I really want to spend the next three hours just listening to 8tracks.

But I'm going to force myself to write more of the indigo horde while I do it, because priorities.

New Chapter and A Practical Coma

Chapter 3 of The Indigo Horde is up. You can read it here. I wanted to write two tonight, but I worked a longer shift today than I anticipated and it's 3 thirty in the morning and I have to be up at 9 tomorrow morning to go back to the mall by 11, even though I don't work until two in the afternoon (ah, don't you just love rural bus schedules?) which I am not anticipating. On the plus side, my best friend is working tomorrow too - and yes, I am aware of how lucky I am to work in the same store as my best friend - which always makes shifts fly by faster.

Work isn't that bad, it's the lack of sleep I hate - bus schedules and writing schedules and anxiety are all working together to make sure I never get another wink. Also, that caffeine addiction.

Today I went into a practical coma and slept in for like 3 hours. I was twenty minutes late to work because of it, but I can't say I regret it: I'd been awake for about 30 hours before I went to sleep, so I really needed it.

And I need it again now. So I'm gonna read for a few minutes and pass out. But I hope you all enjoy chapter three (keep in mind, it's part of a draft that has received exactly zero editing whatsoever) and I would appreciate any comments!

I'll try to post about something non-work or writing related tomorrow, since it's been a while!

The Indigo Horde & You

I have a new book out that I'm serializing on Wattpad over the course of the next ten or eleven days. It's an urban fantasy called The Indigo Horde about a private detective, some monster hunters, and a very steamy romance. You can read it free here.

But enough of self-promotion. Because today what I actually want to talk about is art. And not the usual type of art I talk about. Nope: it ain't about writing today. I'm talking visual art.

Specifically? Sketching.

The year ends in like, twelve or so days and I still haven't finished filling up my sketchbook. I have so many empty pages, I'm thinking of lugging it around with me for the rest of the month and just sketching everything I see to fill it up. I hate letting empty pages go to waste, but as soon as the year ends, so does my work in this sketchbook. I'll have to put it on the shelf and grab a new one. Which I will hopefully use more.

Also not complete? My 2015 reading challenge. I wanted to read 100 books, and I've only finished 71 so far. Not bad at all, but still not my goal. That said, I'm proud of myself, because on top of reading 71 books this year, I wrote a few too.

1) Shadows
2) Souls of Salt & Seawater
3) Things We Saw At Midnight
4) Blood of Midnight

As far as 2015 goes, I'm happy. I think I grew a lot, learned a lot more about myself, and I like where I am, and who I am as a person. There are things I want to work on and accomplish, but overall, I'm proud of myself and all the growth I've gone through this year. I've changed a lot. I've also just become more myself in some ways. It has been a long year, to be clear. I've gone through a lot of heartbreak and a lot of joy. I traveled further than I've ever gone before, I got my first tattoo, I ended an eight-year friendship, I grew in confidence, got my first day job in years, and really began to make some headway with my mental illness. I am both terrified and horribly excited for next year.

And for Christmas. Because I finally finished my shopping. A lot of people got candles and books, a few got other things, but for the most part it was easy this year. And now that it's done I can relax without stressing.

Like tonight I watched Crimson Peak, finally, with my parents, and I didn't spend the entire time wondering what to buy my extended family for the holidays. And, y'know, I got to stare at Tom Hiddleston's but, which is always a plus.

So, yeah, things are good, and always looking up. I hope it's been a great year for you guys too, and I hope the last few days of it continue to be positive. I'll have more posts up before new years (I never shut up, do I?) along with more chapters of the Indigo Horde, but until then, I'll leave you with this gem:

What the fuck do I do?

I'm sitting here listening to K-pop and playing Candy Crush and trying to figure out what the hell I'm going to do with my day. Because I have to do something, and I haven't done much of anything yet.

I want to write, but I also have homework to do, and I can't decide which project to work on. I don't want to write anything for Souls of Salt & Seawater because I already worked a bit on that today, but with other projects, I don't want to get tied into anything. I guess I'll do some free writing later. Or clean up my bedroom, move furniture around. Or draw something.

Or just jump off a roof and fly into the sunset, never to be seen again. You know, regular day off stuff.

But really, I have too much energy and nothing to do with it. This is what I get for coffee overload, but I regret nothing.

Coffee & Coffee & Coffee & Maybe Some Other Things?

I've been awake for a lot of hours. And I just drank like 6 or 7 coffees in the span of two of them. So, as you can imagine, I am fucking bouncing off the walls! It's fun.

I am going to be blogging a lot today, because I need to blog more, and I have the day off, and I'm in the mood to write, but I don't have the attention span to write anything longer than blog posts with all this caffeine in me. That said, I feel fine. Better than fine.

I spent some time editing SOSAS last night, which is coming along nicely, and I expanded on the worldbuilding. I've been sitting here for hours listening to Kpop now, though. Mostly f(x) but also a bit of Sunmi. I finished reading the Copper Gauntlet (a pure gem) and made a graphic for it, because I was loving Jasper in this book:

We do not froth.

I'm going to practice french for a few hours sometime today, as well. I really feel like I need to do a million things all at once, because I have so much energy, and I know I'm going to be all over the place like this all day now, but I really don't mind.

Filler. It's All Filler.

This post is total filler, because I want to blog more, and I never have time to talk about the stuff I love anymore, so I'm doing that here. I keep telling myself to update this site more, because it's good marketing, and it's a nice connection to my readers, and it's nice to read posts from the past and remember things.

But I'm also a lazy, lazy nerd with not a lot of time on my hands. And in that limited time, I would rather do nerdy stuff than talk about doing nerdy stuff. But here's to talking:

I'm reading Six of Crows, and it's amazing, and I am blown away by Leigh Bardugo's worldbuilding. I'm binge-watching a bunch of stuff on Netflix; Devil is a Part-Timer, How To Get Away With Murder -- and I just finished Jessica Jones, which was amazing, spoilers or not. I can't wait for Luke Cage. (Is his show going to be self-titled too? I don't know. Who cares? More Luke!) And I'm also trying to fill out my sketchbook before the year ends. I really, really need to get some damn sketch work done. Pronto.

Aside from all this? Playing a bit of Tomb Raider here and there. Maintaining my caffeine addiction. Trying to deal with my crippling mental illness. The usual.

But no, really. I think I may need to go back on Prozac, which I really don't want to do, because side effects, and expensive medication, and gah. But my health is more important, and I'm better on my meds than off them, increased risk of type 2 diabetes or no. Because if something doesn't change I will implode, and it can't be my life that changes. I need this job, I need this school work, and I need to be writing - it's not the things I have to do, it's me, being too weak to handle the stress. And I know I have an illness and it's not my fault it undermines my quality of life, 'cause that's what illness does. It still sucks.

But I would rather be tired than tired, paranoid, anxious, and depressed. So. Them's the breaks.

What I would mainly like is a good night of sleep, clear skin, and a driver's license. Until then, however, I am stuck taking public transport to work. Which means I have to go get ready for my shift right now because the walk to the bus stop is forty-five minutes! Lucky me, right?

Have a good one, guys!

And That's All I Can Really Say...

Yesterday I worked from 6 to 10:30. Today I'm working from 2 to 10:30. I keep working long shifts that end late at night, and I have a really long commute, and I actually didn't sleep last night when I got home because my anxiety was going off of the walls, so I stayed up and now I'm going back to work without any rest, but I really don't care because I can't afford to care because I'm 600 dollars in debut and I still have Christmas gifts to buy on top of coffee and bus money. It's a hard-knock life.

The thing is, this hard-knock life is very time consuming. And when I do have free time it's usually spent doing laundry/dishes/homework. I may have underestimated just how heavy my workload was when I mentioned some previous release dates. I wanted to put out the first instalment of ADSD next month, and I've barely started drafting it. I wanted to put out SOSAS on the 15th, but I am nowhere near done editing it. And it's not that the book is bad at this stage. I could have something to publish by the 15th, and it would be a good book, but it would not be the right book.

Right now I'm focused on trying not to drop dead, trying not to flunk out, and trying to save up enough money that I can, you know, stop fucking worrying about money. I've got a small ghostwriting gig on the side that helps a bit, but it's mostly chump change, so I can not afford to quit this job right now.

I want to put out the best books I can. I rushed both the Lilac shorts and Things We Saw At Midnight, not during the drafting process, but during editing - and those books suffered for it. I've cleaned up the Lilac Jones shorts, and I'll be revising and republishing TWSAM soon, but right now I'm focused on Souls of Salt and Seawater. On not rushing it. On letting it grow and nurturing the vision of Josmea that I have in my head. This is the first introduction to a world that I plan to spend years and years of my career writing different books in, and I want it to be a good first impression.

More importantly, I know that Alice, Joram, and Rayna deserve to have their stories told in the best way possible. And I know you guys deserve a finished product that is of the same quality you'd find from a traditional publisher. That doesn't happen when I rush.

But I feel guilty. I feel guilty that I don't have more to show you guys, more words for you to read. I want to put things out, and I'm constantly torn between trying to be prolific and trying to be sane, and well-written.

I would rather be the last two.

So I'm not rushing myself anymore. I'm not rushing my works.

What does that mean? Well, it means that SOSAS won't be out on the 15th, this month. It might not be out until the 15th of next month. Or the month after that. I can say it will definitely be out in the next few months. When I say I don't know when it will come out, what I really mean is, I have a good idea of how long it will take me to finish this, but I've guessed wrong before and been mad about it so now I'm keeping my mouth shut.

As soon as it's done, arcs will go out to people on my arc list (I have not forgotten about anyone on Tumblr!) and I'll be talking about it and posting about it and advertising the release date to high heavens. But I've decided that I'm going to take a page out of Amanda Hocking's book and just not talk about my works until they're finished and I'm ready to hit publish. So as soon as my currently announced titles are released, I won't be talking about anything I'm writing until I'm ready to share it with you guys, no matter how much I really, really, really, really want to.

So, I'm sorry, if you were waiting for the Dec. 15th release. The book is still coming. But I want it to be the best quality I can make it, and quality takes time, which is something I don't have much of. And that's all I can really say, for now.

Time to go get ready for work T.T

Again. So fun.

I called in sick again today. My boss was not impressed. I have no idea what's been going around, because I know it's not just me (probably why she was so annoyed) but there are a few of us out sick. I don't know if it's a coincidence or if I caught it from one of them, but I'm not loving it. I've spent most of the day curled up writing, and I'm about to get back to that, because I have so much to fucking do, but I wanted to stop in and post my first December update!

It's almost Christmas . . . which is scary. Because I still have shopping today. And not enough cash to go around. I may go prematurely grey.

Or I may rip out all my hair before it gets to that.

Either way, back to work!

Spoiled & Sick

Well, I called in sick to work. I probably shouldn't have, but I felt like absolute trash. I have no idea what is is - some kind of stomach bug mixed with the common cold? I know I'm stuffy and I have cold sweats and my guts were twisted in knots earlier. I feel a bit better now, thanks to herbal tea and lots of sleep, but I'm not totally better. I have to go to work tomorrow no matter what, so I hope I'm better by then because if not, I'll be working another eight hour shift sick as a dog. . .

In other news to be mad about, I got spoiled for Jessica Jones. As in three deaths that I didn't know about and the overall ending of the season spoiled. Gah.

I really love it, so I'll keep watching, but I'm angry it happened. I've been avoiding the tumblr tag since I heard the news of the show to avoid any spoilers, 'cause the show sounded so interesting, only to get spoiled now. Not fun.

But what is fun is 8tracks. Which I'm obsessed with. Right now I'm listening to a random paranormal romance playlist, but I've been listening to it while drafting/editing SOSAS too, and I've found so many good mixes for fantasy writing it blows my mind.

Because I have been writing - even though it doesn't seem like it. Souls of Salt & Seawater should still be out Dec 15th (originally planned for Dec 5th, but life happened, so it's gonna be ten days later. And as far as ADSD goes, I'm still drafting, and having fun with it, exploring Lilac's present reality a year after the dark times where I left her at the end of How I Broke Us. I think I might want to have the sequel to Shadows (tentatively titled Whispers) drafted before I publish the first book, just so the wait on the sequel is shorter on your guys. I would rather have a bunch of stuff finished instead of making you guys wait the entire development stage of a project, you know?

And I don't know if I like talking about stuff before it's done, anyway. I think after SOSAS, ADSD, and Shadows are all done and out, I won't be talking about projects until they're ready to be released, because it leaves less room for waiting and disappointment when things like release dates change.

I don't know. I'm still trying to figure this all out: how long I want to take the indie route before trying traditional, how I want to market myself, which books I want to write, essentially, what do I want my artistic career to look like? It's important to me to put out a professional product.

A lot of self-pubbed books have a bunch of editing mistakes and bad covers and end up reading like a stream of consciousness. When I put out the Lilac short stories I made plenty of mistakes - hell, just the other day my mom pointed out an error in her ebook of Welcome to Midnight that I'd missed in copy edits (to be fair, I wrote that book in 2 and a half days as a surprise project) and now have to go back and give another read-through. I'm not better than all other indie authors, by far. But I do want to put out the best product I can. As cocky as it sounds, I know I'm a good writer. It's one of the few things I'm confident about - and I put out Welcome to Midnight to give readers a glimpse at the darker, more serious side of my work. It's not all going to be sunshine and rainbows and pop culture, even though it might be some of that, sometimes.

So I'm eager to put stuff out and show you guys what I can do. But I'm also aware of my limitations and flaws, and I want to be careful. I'm a fast writer, but it's not fast writing that's the problem - it's fast editing. I've rushed the final part of the process in the past, and it was a mistake. I want to take my time and do right by these projects, so I hope it's worth the wait for you guys, and I'm sorry if I feel like a ghost sometimes.

At least I'm a ghost that's nice to look at. Well, not today - today I have bed hair and black bags under my eyes. Whatever. I'm still the prettiest damn ghost you know.

Jessica Jones is a Masterpiece and I'm Really Tired

It's 3:51 am and I'm sitting in my room listening to this and dreading work tomorrow. I have a 2 to 10:30 shift, but I'll be at the mall by 12 because of my shitty bus route. I hate living outside of the city - I feel like I'm always mentioning that, but I really do. It's a half an hour walk to the bus stop, and at the halfway mark there's this dead raccoon with it's innards spilling out that I have to cross the road to avoid, and I'm tired of all my music but haven't had time to download anything new, so it's also boring as hell.

I guess I can take advantage of being early tomorrow by doing some more Christmas shopping. I still need gifts for my brother and cousin, and the gifts I got for my parents and best friend are incomplete. I also might buy lunch. But maybe not. Because I always feel guilty spending money.

My dad paid for this new laptop, so I owe him about 600 dollars, and I should be saving my money for that, on top of gas money. I don't know. It's really hard being poor. I'm sure most of you already know that. And it's not like I'm destitute or anything. At all. But I make 10 bucks an hour and I'm only working seasonal and gas is expensive and I need so many things that now that I have money it's pulling me in different directions - I need to pay my dad back. I also need new clothes. I also need stuff like medication and hygienic products I haven't been able to afford for a long time now, and I'm also supposed to be saving up for my passport, and for a phone, and it's so hard to try to balance everything I need to do on this budget.

So that's where I'm at this week. I got some work done on SOSAS, and two short chapters drafted on A Darkness So Divine, and that was fun. I wish I could write more. I wish I wasn't near-dead every time I came home at night.

For now I'm fitting anything in anywhere I can. It's hard, and it's making me feel guilty that I can't make more time for it, but on top of work and my commute and generally being a human (eating/sleeping/fighting mental illness) it's harder than it should be. But I'm going to do this. Because I have to do this. Because I've wanted it since I was ten years old and I don't think I'll ever want anything more. I don't think I'll ever love anything more than I love words, and the way they twist together on the page until I'm lost and everything else that I'm worried about doesn't matter, because at least I have this escape.

When seasonal is over, and my last semester of school is over, I'll be able to devote the time to this that it deserves. Until then, I'll have to keep scrapping by writing whenever I can squeeze it in, for an hour here or thirty minutes there, between shifts of working and sleeping.

And trying not to slap customers in the face when they snap at me for shit that isn't under my control.

Ah, the joys of retail.

Anyway, when I'm not working, writing, or sleeping, I've been watching Jessica Jones. I just got Netflix, and I was so excited to get to start watching this show - it hasn't disappointed me. I'm only on episode 7 or 8, but it's amazing, and it's making me appreciate David Tenant even though I hated him in Dr. Who. To be fair, the only one I actually enjoyed was Christopher Eccleston. I mean, Matt Smith is really handsome and sweet, but I can take or leave his Dr. And I hate the current one almost as much as I did Tenant.

But he's brilliant as Kilgrave. I mean, this show scares me. It's been pretty disturbing at times, and I've even teared up at a couple of points (to be fair, everything makes me tear up these days- movie trailers, good songs, book endings . . . maybe I'm turning into a softy) but still, I'm addicted.

I also ran down to the book store on my break and bought a copy of Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo. I'm sixty-eight pages in and loving it, and me and the clerk had a nice chat about the Darkling, which was fun. I'm always blown away when I meet a book lover I share favourite series with in person, because that never happens.

Also, hmm - Kilgrave and the Darkling. Can you tell I'm fascinated by amorality?

My obsession for dangerous sociopaths aside, my obsession with herbal tea just made me spend 10 dollars on a pack of 12 gourmet tea bags from David's Teas. I grabbed a 12-pack of Buddha's Blend - it's a mix of white and green tea, and it's fucking delicious - but still and hour of work for 12 tea bags. Ugh. I have a problem. My excuse for buying both the tea and the book is, basically, yolo. I'm gonna die someday, so I might as well take pleasure in the small things while I'm here.

Because on some level I know that no matter if I become a famous author, or a pilot, or a marketing guru, or end up homeless and forgotten, no matter what happens to me, if - when - I die some day, these small moments will be all that's left of me that really matter. Having fun with my friends, shopping for gifts for the people I love, taking the first bite of a takeout lunch I probably didn't need, buying a new book just because I crave the words in it that much - those small moments are more important than anything else. And I appreciate my end-goals and I want them more than anything, but I also need to be willing that life is long and short and awful and we don't always get what we want. If I get hit by a bus or die in an unexpected fire tomorrow without ever writing all the books I want, I need to know that I can be happy with the life I've lived. So I'm not trying to forget about my goals, or forget to live while I'm alive, but I'm also not going to forget that sometime it's okay to enjoy the moment and stop worrying about the future for a bit. I have a lot of guilt to work past when it comes to doing things for myself and my mental health and happiness, and I need to remember that it's okay to do things and invest in them just because I enjoy them.

I take comfort in the fact that I'm living with my parents until after I've been out of school for a year, so I have plenty of time to make money and save up, but I still get nervous thinking about the future. Like, what if writing doesn't pan out? What if you're stuck on the same daily grind of day-job, home, write, sleep, wake up, work, write, sleep, repeat, repeat, repeat, for years? What if it's always this much of a struggle to live?

And I understand that that's my anxiety talking, but it's still hard to fight sometimes. So I also take comfort in the fact that no matter what happens, it's all life, it's all experience, and it's all valuable in the long run.

Even now, looking back, some of the memories I value the most from my life are from the times it was most difficult. Because even though I'm struggling, I'm also expanding.

So yeah. That's my mind lately. Tomorrow morning I will wake up and go to work. I'll finish up some Christmas shopping and come home and work some more, and I'll put all of this worrying out of my mind and do what I have to, but at least for tonight, I'm letting myself be anxious. I have to feel it to move past it, so that's what I'll do.

You Had a Thing No One Could Ever Be Sure Of

Title from the song Weight of Love by The Black Keys.

So. It's Black Friday. I worked from 9 to 5:30 today, then scrambled over to Best Buy and got a new laptop. Then I ran home and did the dishes, threw some chicken strips in the oven, and bolted to open this computer as fast as humanly possible.

I think I've met my one true love. No, but seriously - this laptop if my new golden child.

Anyway, I'm dead tired, but I'm taking a night off editing SOSAS, so I told myself I had to write a blog post instead, so here I am.

The last few weeks have been crazy.

Since I started working this job, I've lost ten pounds. My feet are covered in blisters, and my hands are constantly cut from the cardboard sleeves in the boxes at work, and by the time I'm off ever night I'm dead-tired from spending 8 hours on my feet, interacting with people, lugging out boxes and shelving stuff. It's tiring work, and anxiety doesn't make it easier. It's awful coming home after an eight and a half hour shift to realize you still have to write for two hours, on top of doing stuff around the house (aka picking up after four cats) and cooking dinner, if it's my turn to cook that night. I'm stretched pretty thin. There have been nights where I haven't written anything at all, because I come home and just pass out until it's time to get up and go back to work again. Did I mention I'm glad I'm only working seasonal?

I go back to school in January, and that will make work harder, too, but it's only for one semester, and then I'm free! I still totally failed Nano this month (actual life took over my life) but this job pays better than royalties right now, and I need this money so I can buy stuff that makes my job doable - like a laptop with a functional keyboard - and stuff that I desperately need; a phone, new clothing, gas, food - you know, the annoying shit we all need to live. But I'm hoping that now that I have this laptop and can write in bed, I'll put more work hours in.

Goodbye, external keyboard. Hello, productivity!

Work aside, I've actually gotten in a lot of reading lately while waiting for the bus or my ride home from work, and I just finished Carry On by Rainbow Rowell (my new favorite book! Review here) and Ruin and Rising, by Leigh Bardugo (review here).  What I really want now is the new Amanda Hocking, which doesn't come out until after new year's, so maybe a Kanin re-read is in order. . .

I've been listening to a lot of PVRIS and Tor Miller. I am obsessively watching Scream Queens. And you. Always. At night, when you think you're alone, I see you, staring into the dark, wondering . . .

Or maybe not.

And that's all I have to mention. As soon as I have a day off I'll have a blog about work and a blog about all this epic pop culture that I've been taking in lately, but right now I'm too tired to delve into much of it, outside of listing shit off.

Now I'm going to pass out, and wake up, and work another eight hour shift. Wish me luck. (I really, really, really need it.)

I should blog more

... but I work a day job and then come home and write/edit and then pass out. I have school assignments to finish on top of all that, among a million other things, so blogging is pretty low on my list right now. I'm currently editing SOSAS for a tentative Dec 15th release, and soon I'll start drafting ADSD. For now just know I'm not dead, and I'm hard at work.

5 Facts About Shadows

I finish the draft of Shadows today. In honour of that, here are five facts about this book! Oh, and don't forget to check out the Charmers tab at the top of the blog for more info!


1) It's dark. As in, lot's of angst, lots of danger. Drug and alcohol abuse, mental illness, emotional traumas. On top of that? A whole heap of monsters, some twisted romance, and a lot of action. I write a lot of dark stuff, and I got to show a bit of that in Things We Saw at Midnight recently, but I'm looking forward to seeing how readers react to a full length novel as opposed to a collection of shorts.

2) It's diverse. I really love diverse books. I don't love diverse books where the minority characters are treated as accessories or written as stereotypes, and I don't like books where the diversity feels preachy - I wanted to write a book that had trans and nonbinary characters, characters of colour, queer people, and characters with disabilities, without making them into caricatures. These characters' identities are just part of who they are, a normal part of their daily lives - as they should be.

3) It's hot. Remember when I mentioned twisted romance? Well, Shadows has heaps. Sky and Hunter are hot, full of hormones and angst, and oh yeah, stuck close together until they break the powerful magikal bond brewing between them. Sparks will fly - and so will clothes . . .

4) The book is in the New Adult genre. Sky is nineteen, and Hunter is twenty. The novel and series are set around adult themes, and are definitely not for the younger reader.

5) It's set in the city where I grew up. Saint John, New Brunswick, Canada - it's a hot damn mess of the grit and the glamour. Gleaming white spas down the hill from ugly ass dive bars, seedy strip clubs situated around the corner from top 40 radio stations. It's the largest city in the province, and it's a hectic mix of light and dark, hot and cold - the perfect reflection of the characters and story of Shadows. You can read more about it here: Saint John.

So, yeah, those are some things about this book that you should know. I honestly can't wait to share this with you guys. Aside from that, I also have the final quote I'll be sharing from the draft - as I finish it today, and then I'm letting it rest for a few weeks before edits start.

That doesn't mean I won't be working, though - I'm also doing nanowrimo this month! Feel free to add me!

Video games are killing me.

Cause of death: gameplay footage from Rise of the Tomb Raider and Uncharted 4.

I'm a long-time fan of both these franchises. TR is one of the first games I ever played (TR3, to be specific) and I love archaeology, history, treasure hunting, and adventure. Action movies are my bread and butter, and these games have that vibe to them.

I mean, look at this:

I just - ugh! And damn, if I don't have a crush on Nathan Drake. That's one pixelated man that could marry this, if he wanted to.

And THIS:

I CAN'T. IT'S KILLING ME. PERFECTION. TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD. 

Now I'm gonna go scream some more.

Shadows update and Quote~

I'm still working on ten day book. Why? Halloween got really crazy - and then things stayed crazy. So ten day book has turned into, what? 14 or 15 day book? Still a pretty fast drafting time. Life has finally calmed down again, and I'm back on regular work schedules, so it's coming along fast, but these distractions, coupled with a few added chapter, have drawn out the process. Having fun though! Here's today's quote:

Down With the Sickness, and 10 Day Book Update!

I'm dead. Not actually, but I might as well be. I got a really bad stomach-ache and nausea for about six or so hours, during which time all I could really do was try to sleep. I wanted to puke - and I know I would have felt better if I had - but for some reason my body just wouldn't do it and get it over with, so I had to wait it up.

I feel better now, but I missed a long writing session, so I'm behind - and I have a lot to do today that might make it harder to write and reach my goals. I'm probably still going to do it, but it might break me, just a little bit. Because of the lag I have 5 and a half chapter to write today, and 6 to write tomorrow - but then the book will be done. I'm going to sped the next few days editing SOSAS, and then hop into writing ADSD, which should take like 15 days?

Anyway, no quote today, since I'm in such a hurry, but wish me luck! I'll have more updates coming later!

Meet the Characters of the Ten Day Book!

So, meet the characters of ten day book, Shadows:

Sky - the main & POV character of the series. Sky is a pretty, gender nonconforming gay guy, and he's very, very sarcastic. He's a talented artist, and has some strange abilities, to top it all off. . . He's also scrapy as hell and a little bit (re: a whole lot) stubborn.

Hunter - Sky's love interest; a mysterious guy with a dangerous past and some powerful energies. He's open about his emotions and doesn't waste words, and he likes to tease the people he loves. Hunter is a skilled warrior and a lover of factoids.

The lyrics are from the song Crystalised, but the xx, and I highly recommend it. It fits their relationship well. The monster is a Charmer Hound . . . a beast made of shadows and magik.

I can't wait to share this book with you guys. I'm having a lot of fun writing, and while it's definitely rough around the edges, I think it's got a certain sort of charm that, with some polishing, readers will really enjoy.

New Music, Much Ado About A Lighter, & A 10 Day Book Update!

So earlier tonight I got a new mp3 player - it's nothing fancy, but it works, and it has a screen, and good sound quality, and honestly? It's just nice to have something to listen to again. My old ipod broke months ago. Of course I loaded it up with the new albums from Demi Lovato, Carly Rae Jepsen, and Selena Gomez. I'm so obsessed with pop right now, it's weird, considering I'm usually more into indie or punk. but whatever, it's a nice change of pace, I'll take it.

The other day I walked over an hour to buy a lighter and the woman at the gas station wouldn't sell my one. I'm nineteen, so I'm a legal adult here, and I have all the privileges that come with it - drinking, buying tobacco products, buying lighters, et cet - but I don't have an ID and I don't always look my age depending on what my hair and skin are doing, what I'm wearing, if I have my glasses . . . any number of things. so sometimes I get away with stuff and sometimes I don't. This time I didn't. My parents brought my home a new lighter that night anyway, but I needed one earlier, and it was kind of annoying.

As far as Shadows goes, I have one more final chapter to write tonight and then I'm done for the day - and thank god, 'cause I'm about to collapse. I know I already gave you guys a quote today, but here is another one:

Write a Book in Ten Days Update 2

As far as Shadows is going, I have an updated outline (I added in 5 new chapters last night) so it's a higher work load, but it will pay off. I also have an updated schedule, so let's hope that I keep it. More on that tomorrow since I'm in a rush to get a few thousand more words in tonight. Here's today's quote:

Write a Book in Ten Days

So. I'm writing a book in ten days. Well, not a book. A draft of a book. So basically a book. Why? Because; productivity, and innovation. And I really want to finish this book before NaNoWriMo starts, so I can work on ADSD during that.

The book is called Shadows, it's set in my home city, Saint John, New Brunswick, and it's about a race of modern witches called Charmers living among us. And other creatures. It's set in what I call the Menagerie world - it's bursting with paranormal creatures and different breeds of magik.

I'm estimating that it will be about 55,000 words when complete, and right now I'm at 17,553. So how am I going about it? Easy, I've got a polished, streamlined outline, a set pace, and a set of tools to get me into the writing mood, including Pinterest boards and playlists.

Here's a sneak peek at my Scrivener doc:

My schedule is chapter-based, with a set number of chapters to write each day. Today is the 24th, so today and onwards my schedule is:

The 24th: have up to chapter ten finished.

The 25th: have up to chapter thirteen finished.

The 26th: have up to chapter sixteen finished.

The 27th: have up to chapter eighteen finished.

The 28th: have up to the last chapter finished.

As far as writing, I'm using Rachel Aaron's 2k to 10k method, which means I'm outlining extensively each day (jotting a more detailed scene outline in a notebook before writing it) and setting aside certain times to write. To get in the mood to put words on paper I have a pinterest board: Shadows on Pinterest! And set paranormal romance playlists on 8tracks that I've been loving. I'm also listening to the new Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato albums on repeat. As far as inspirations go, I feel like this is influenced by books like Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater and Ink by Amanda Sun.

I'll be posting updates daily with updated manuscript wordcounts and quotes from the draft! If you're interested in seeing how this little experiment turns out and catching a look at the world and characters before the book is published, it will be a fairly interesting glimpse into my creative process!

Today's Quote:

Something started to spill from his open hand, like dark blood dripping from a wound. But it wasn’t liquid — it was like smoke, except that it was evaporating; the edges of its form licking the air like tongues of black flame. It grew. The darkness twisted and writhed in the air like a living thing, and began to pool on the ground between Jackson and the blonde guy.

I couldn’t believe my eyes. I stared at the thing taking shape there, sure that at any second I would snap upright in bed, panting, out of the nightmare.

Except this wasn’t a dream. I wasn’t waking up.

Pinterest, Podcasts & Pocky. Oh, We Also Got a New Government!

Canada has a new, Liberal Government! In case you aren't Canadian, let me explain how good it feels to be free of Stephen Harper to you: I feel like I live in Narnia and the White Witch has finally been banished. I feel like Beatrix Kiddo standing over Bill's dead body. And hey - Justin Trudeau isn't too hard on the eyes, either. . .

Okay, enough. Less politics, more pop culture! I'm working on SOSAS & Shadows today (finishing up SOSAS and starting to draft Shadows) so I'll keep this short. You need to watch Scream Queens. I'm watching it. I'm in love with it. I'm also re-watching MTV's Scream (which you'll remember once gave me nightmares) with my parents, and I'm gonna start iZombie sometime soon. I've heard good things about it.

There was talk of Podcasts on Goodreads, and I plugged Sarah Enni's podcast First Draft, which is fantastic. I honestly need more people to listen to this, because it's incredible. Back when I didn't have home internet during the winter I would download episodes of this at the public library and listen to it all day while I was home, so I felt less isolated.

http://firstdraftwithsarahenni.tumblr.com/tagged/podcast

Each episode is an interview with a YA or middle grade author, and they're some cool talks about writing, creating art, and even growing up and embracing yourself. Some of them get surprisingly deep (and funny!) so check them out!

I'm listening to the new Selena Gomez album. Especially the newest single:

And that's about it. I still have 5000 words to write tonight, and a bunch of dishes to do, so that's all for today, but I'll have another post up sometime this week!

Surprise!

I put out a new book today - and it's free! The new book is called Things We Saw At Midnight, and it's a collection of thirteen short horror stories and vignettes set in a fictional Nevada town called Midnight City. It's got griffins and doppelgängers, phantoms and visions. It's even got a personification of nostalgia.

In Midnight City, things are a bit odd. Old Lady Ellen knows when you're going to die, the man with a swarm of bees where his face should be always sits in the same booth at Winston's Pies, and the local gas station attendant is a leftover deity from another dimension. But in the dark heart of this desert city, fear lives like a sentient creature, waiting to claim anyone it can. Will you survive?

Things We Saw At Midnight is diverse, humorous, and hopefully pretty damn scary. I wrote this book as an early Halloween gift to all my readers and online friends, as a way to say thank you for embracing me and my work and encouraging me to keep creating.

you can grab an ebook on Smashwords here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/584827
Or read it on Wattpad here: https://www.wattpad.com/story/51850761-things-we-saw-at-midnight
And, add it on Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/27181294-things-we-saw-at-midnight

A Darkness So Divine Trilogy Details + Cover Reveal!

So, a few days ago, I posted the covers for the A Darkness So divine trilogy on my Tumblr:

The trilogy is a spin-off of the Lilac Jones Adventures (which are currently free on Wattpad) but where TLJA are lighter young adult stories for younger readers, ADSD borders on new adult, and is much darker. It still has a grim, kind of snarky, sarcastic humour to it, but the characters are older, more mature, and dealing with much darker issues than Lilac did in the prequel.

Book #1, The Diamond Society, sees Lilac moving to the tiny town of Northbank, New Brunswick, with her recently divorced mother, for a fresh start. But Lilac soon realizes that the tiny town is anything but quiet: Northbank is home to a quietly seductive group of paranormals, each harbouring their own secrets and powers. . .

Lilac is quickly caught up in the lives of two local teenagers: Jesse Holmes - the town outcast who may or may not be an incubus; and Hadley Snow - resident popular girl and part-time Valkyrie (who might have murdered her summer fling . . . oops!) As Lilac and the teens go to desperate lengths to uncover the secrets of Northbank and ensure it's future, they're forced to contend with a dark power brimming beneath the surface of their quaint home that, if left undefeated, could destroy all them. . .

Book #2, The Winter War, sees each of the main trio discover more about their inherent powers and histories while their present relationships develop and grow, all while startling revelations change everything, and a desperate war looms in the horizon. . . Book #3 The Chain of Thorns, concludes the trilogy as new enemies converge on the town and the trio must band together to save everyone they love from certain death. . .

In my mind, the series is akin to The Vampire Diaries, The Mortal Instruments, and The Nine Lives of Chloe King. I really love urban fantasies, and for this trilogy I'm drawing inspiration from some of my favourites, like My Blood Approves, Daughter of Smoke and Bone, and Dangerous Creatures - essentially, it's my take on one of the teen supernatural dramas I loved as a younger teen (and still occasionally binge-watch!) and putting it in a setting I can relate to.

I grew up in Saint John, which is the largest city in New Brunswick - but I also spent time living in rural areas of Hampton, and now live in a municipality outside the city limits. In Northbank, I wanted to incorporate the feeling of small-town life in New Brunswick, capturing some of the isolation and boredom, while also showing the dynamic relationships between the locals and some of the more lively sides of the community. I've drawn from a lot of real-life experience in outlining the town and the settings the characters interact in, and I'm excited to bring those to life and use my own reality as an inspiration for how they feel on the page.

I also really wanted to capture how interesting and vivid the lives of teenagers going on. How these young people have such dynamic inner-lives, and so much on their plates; and what happens if you throw in a dash of magic and personal tragedy? What happens when they're dealing with grief and growing up and fighting evil? They all fit into certain archetypes: Lilac, the loner; Hadley, the popular girl; Jesse, the rebel. And their relationships with each other and their parents, friends, and love interests shape their story. I also embraced the diversity of Canadians in writing them, and I'm excited to bring more representation into the genre.

All in all, ADSD has been a lot of fun for me, so far, and I'm really excited for it! But I'm done plugging myself, and I should get back to work, so I'll leave you with this new footage from Shadowhunters!

Coffee and Electronica in the Wee Hours

It's 2:30am, and I should be asleep, but I'm not. Being up late isn't anything new to me, but tonight I'm only up because my acid reflux is making it really hard to sleep - the sounds of my own choking on stomach acid? Not the sweetest lullaby.

So I got up and made myself a coffee, grabbed my laptop, and turned on some music. I'm listening to Disclosure, because I really like their new song with Lorde, and I like a lot of their older stuff. I wrote up a writing schedule the other night so I know what I'm working on up into May 2016. I like to plan things. I'm following Rachel Aaron's 2k to 10k method, because I have a lot to do and a lot more I want to do. But some nights I get lazy.

Some nights my brother comes home and I have to be quiet because his room is right below mine, and the sound of my clacking on keys keeps him up all night. So, here I am, not working, drinking coffee, blogging, listening to electronic music in the middle of the night, in the wee hours of the morning.

But because I still love my WIP and I want to work but have to wait until morning, I thought I'd write up a list of all the things I love about the projects I'm working on right now.

1. Evil Scary Mermaids
2. Poetic Verse
3. Teen Banshees
4. Cheesy Puns
5. Dragons
6. Gay Witches Saving the Day
7. Red Bull Name-Dropping
8. Spooky Encounters
9. All the Angst & All the Kissing
10. Lesbian Monster Hunters

So yeah. If that doesn't get you excited about my books I don't know what will . . .

Blogs Are My Favourite Books

So the other night I realized blogs are my favourite books. I was sitting in bed reading Amanda Hocking's old blog posts for like, the millionth time, and I realized I am obsessed with reading blogs. And I don't mean blog posts - I mean blogs themselves. In their entirety. When I find a new blog, I will go to the last/first post in the archive and read the entire blog from the first post to the newest post, even if it means reading three to four years worth of posts.

I've read blogs like Amanda Hocking's (http://www.hockingbooks.com/blog/) and Zoe Marriott's (http://thezoe-trope.blogspot.ca/) and then I'll read ones about military wives who travel around to different bases around the world, or uni students living in Japan, or manga artists moving to Hawaii. And I'll read them more than once.

A good blog is like a good book, but even better, it's like a good conversation. A good blog has that nostalgia to it, like remembering a 3am conversation with your best friend from three years ago, except you can reread them again and again and again. They're a glimpse into other people's lives. Like right now, I'm sitting at my desk listening to Young by Vallis Alps, with a mug of black coffee beside my computer. The window behind me is open letting in the mid-September air, and I'm about to go do some laundry when I'm finished writing this.

Or, like, last night, when I though this post up, I was lying in bed, reading Amanda Hocking's blog, listening to Enemy Fire by Bea Miller, I was a little bit stoned, drinking lukewarm peppermint tea out of a chipped mug, eating leftover donair pizza from Pizza Shack, thinking about how blogs are nostalgia fodder and how I really, really love them.

See? Reading a blog gives you a glimpse into someone else's humanity - into their existence and what it feels like to be them. It's really, really cool, and there's nothing else exactly like a blog: it's basically a public diary. A bit invasive at times, maybe . . . but still interesting as hell.

Tania Chernova: Russian War Hero; Badass Sniper; Not Your Damsel.

In the film Enemy at the Gates, a Russian sniper in WWII, Vasily Zaytsev, is transferred to the sniper division after he saves a comrade of his. In reality, he served as a clerk before being transferred to the Rifle regiment. The story of the film doesn’t mention his early war career at all, but instead jumps into the battle at Stalingrad: while in Stalingrad, Zaytsev meets Tania Chernova, who a comrade of his also likes. The comrade, Danilov, transfers her away from the combat to keep her safe.

This is all a lie. The love triangle is a lie. But more importantly? So is Tania.

In real life, Tania Chernova was a ruthless sniper who met Zaytsev at a sniping school he ran. Tania had lost family and decided to take out her enemies, the Germans, in revenge for their deaths. She was a ruthless and skilled sniper who called the Germans ‘Sticks’ as she though all they were good for was breaking. Tania traveled through Stalingrad on her own and, at times, with Zaytsev, and the two became lovers.

Tania was on the front lines serving her country and fighting against the Germans, and while the story reflects this, it is very sad that the sexist writers of the movie decided to turn her into nothing more than a damsel in distress and a prize for Zaytsev to win that would represent his happiness at the end of the movie.

Tania Charnova was not another person’s prize, or a troubled damsel who needed to be saved: she was a dedicated soldier and a skilled sniper who should be renowned for her skill, fierceness, and bravery during the war.

It honestly makes me sad to see such an interesting woman and historical figure squandered like this by the script. It is honestly shocking and disgusting that they went to such lengths to make her seem delicate, pretty, and helpless, as opposed to portraying the often ugly, flawed human being she truly was; a damaged but still brave and driven young woman who used her pain to help her own country, and by extension the world, by taking on Nazi forces. She should be upheld as an incredible hero and a role model for her intelligence and her shooting skills, not turned into a pretty face meant to entice a male hero.

So that's what I have to say, and that's who Tania Chernova is, and that's why you need to know. I'm gonna go back to drinking my peppermint tea and ignoring this god awful movie's existence, now.