This Is Not Enough

I'm still working on editing Force. It's been a long, grueling job - mostly because of my own procrastination, but let's ignore that - and I'm not pulling my hair out yet, but I might be close. Which would be bad, because I cut my own hair recently and I really like how it turned out. I'd rather not mess it up. Or mess up my book.

I was saying on Goodreads a few days ago that it will probably be out on the 12th, which is tomorrow, and that is so not happening. That said it's going to be soon. I'm not even saying a date because at this point it's comical how many times I've delayed this book. Novella. Whatever it is.

I really do love it, and I think it's super good, which is why I need to take my time with it and make sure it's perfect before I put it out. I don't want to have to touch it for another five to ten years; I already have way too many books I need to update the backmatter and front copy material for and it's such annoying grunt work to have to update it every two or three years for every title...

I finished Shadow of The Tomb Raider the other night and was underwhelmed with the ending. I wish they'd announce the next game already, but I try to be patient. It's obvious there has to be another one because, well...money. Companies like money. And in return they better keep blessing us with these Tomb Raider adventures.

Anyway, now it's back to playing Fallout 4 every other night for hours on end. I really, really love the Fallout universe and the atmosphere but I hate that this installment really wants me to care about my randomly generated spouse and baby. Let me make my own backstory please! The Courier was ideal as a blank slate, but I was also fine with the Fallout 3 backstory. The backstory for the player character in 4 is just way too involved and detailed. Dead/absent parents are one thing, but making players roleplay a parent who had a hetero marriage and basing so much of the story around it removes so many roleplay and character options, and that's half of what the fans love...

Honestly if I could have one DLC for this game it would be to edit Pickman and make him a fully fleshed-out character and available companion. It would be so good. Painting with blood only makes you a psychopath if you're not using raider blood, guys. IT'S TECHNICALLY A PUBLIC SERVICE.

It's a lot of fun to make your own characters in video games though, whether you're developing new OCs or just creating versions of existing ones, it's a lot of fun. When I was playing Dragon's Dogma last summer I made Dru and Vincent from my book Blood of Midnight and played with Dru as the arisen and Vincent my main pawn. That game is literally Dungeons and Dragons come to life and I adore it.*

(*And I never beat the game, so I have to go load up this save and play some more soon. I'm like barely into it, and it's huge, and I have so much to explore. I really do recommend it, even though I've been taking my sweet time getting back to it since I got my ps4.)

Aside from wandering the radioactive wastes I have been making progress on Force and the general outline/timeline/plans for the series as a whole. It's going to be 5 main installments ranging in length from 25k to 45k, and at least one short story of unknown length. I'm really excited for it, it's not like it's redefining the superhero genre or anything of the sort, but it is a cool, confident story. It's heavily influenced by the song Coming Right Along by The Posies, at least tonally/emotionally. I was listening to that on repeat while drafting the first story back in November 2019.

I've got a lot of editing to do tonight, but I do have a lot of faith this story is coming out soon. No sooner than it's ready, but soon.

In the meantime my new short story Faces in Weeds has gotten like no love, though not for lack of deserving it. If you'd like to read it you can check it out here for 99 cents. It's about a girl who commits a murder and her attempts to cover it up, and it's set in Georgia. Also, today's title comes from the song All The Things She Said. Poppy just released a new cover of it and I've been listening non-stop. I like it much better than the original, not going to lie.

The One Where I Get Anxiety From Everything & I Play Tomb Raider About It Instead of Coping

I think I've neglected this blog enough for the year. I've also been neglecting my personal diary, so there's enough of that to go around, but tonight I'm saying no more, and I am going to update both!

I have seriously been slacking off lately. My work has gone untouched while I play more Tomb Raider than I have any right to. I bought Rise and Shadow so I've been running through them both for the first time. I love Rise most, it's got the sturdiest writing and I think the world is more open. Shadow is fun though, it's got beautiful puzzles and more challenging tombs, although some of them have wonky spots in them. I also enjoy the more emotional moments between Lara and Jonah. She's been bottling up her angst for an installment or two and seeing it all pile up and break out is amazing.

The first game is still my favorite and always will be, though. It felt the most emotionally complex and grounded at the same time, even with the samurai zombies and stuff. I feel like we've never understood Lara and seen inside her mindset as much as we did in the first game. In Rise and Shadow she's bad-ass, sure, but she's also more withdrawn and it's hard to really get into her mind even with her journal entries.

I'm not going to play video games tonight until much later, though, because I'm determined as all hell to get in a round of editing on Force tonight. I only need to update and clarify a few things but I've pushed back the release date so many times and now it's ten days away so it needs a bit more brushing up before I finally put it out.

For those of you who don't follow, Force is book/novella 1 in my Superhero High serial that I recently announced. The Goodreads page is up, and it's got the placeholder cover and a cool blurb, as well as a bit more information. The proposed release date this time is on the 12th of this month, and it's making me majorly anxious because I'm not ready, never mind the book itself. I know it's good, but release is making me antsy. What if nobody reads it?! What if everybody reads it?! What if there's a huge gaping problem or plot hole I'm skipping over because I'm too close to it? And this is why I should stop neglecting my journal; it causes me to build up way too much anxiety!

I'm going to go do some self-care and get my emotional and mental state in check, now, but that said you should definitely check out the Force page on Goodreads I linked above and add it to your TBR!

Thanks for reading. :3

Maybe You're My Enemy, You're The Only One Who Knows The Way I Really Feel

Title from Enemy by Charli XCX.

I'm pretty sure this blog is dead but that won't stop me from writing updates for it. In fact, I actually find it kind of comforting that very few people, if any, read my insane ramblings here. I'm almost done my next book, and I have a couple finished and semi-finished things I've been sitting on for a long time now, or at least what feels like a long time; I think the oldest of them dates back to November or so.

I have to edit a novella tonight and I'm having a nervous breakdown about it, so instead of actually doing it I thought I'd come complain about how long it's taking Rise of The Tomb Raider (a game that came out like five years ago while I was still working at Bath and Body Works, lol) to get here. I ordered it way too long ago. I can't really complain though because there's a pandemic and all, and the truth is it's amazing we can even still order stuff at all with all the craziness going on.

Since everybody is laid-off right now, I don't have the house to myself and everyone I live with is driving me insane. They're not really doing anything annoying, I just can't focus or think when people are around. Luckily, they go to bed weirdly early, and I can be the only one awake all night, and actually experience the silence and peace I need to work. Some people party all night - I just get around to doing the chores and work I should've done during the day, because I'm amazingly efficient and productive and on top of things. Yup. :)

My main problem in life right now is that the main character of the most recent book I wrote/am writing is Sam, and a major male character in the Superhero High stories is also named Sam, and I don't want to change either of them because it fits them both in different ways. It's fine, or at least I think it's fine, since plenty of people IRL have the same name, God knows there's a million men named Kai out there, but still, I don't like reusing them.

I think if Sam from the First War series met Sam from the Superhero High series, they'd either ignore each other entirely, or they'd build a bomb together. I don't think they'd be friends, (mainly because First War Sam is a college student who doesn't hang around with high school freshman) but they'd definitely team up in a pinch to pull of a con or an escape act.

Anyway that's what's been going on in my corner: intense internal debates about character naming choices. I also spent the better half of the day trying to catch a tiny mouse before my cats did so I could free it outside. Eventually got the little buddy safely out of the house and away from Angus and Cami and their little hunting party fantasy. I don't think either of them were happy I spared their prey, but I feel pretty happy for defying fate and sparing the mouse. He'll probably be eaten by an owl or a hawk before the night is through, but hey, maybe not. Maybe he's the Chosen One of the mouse world and he's off to fulfill a prophecy. Really none of my business, is it?

I also beat inFamous Second Son and Horizon Zero Dawn and I'm kind of emotional over both. The fact that they don't seem to be planning anymore inFamous games is a literal fucking crime. I guess four should be enough, but it's not. I'd love to see Cole come back, or another Delsin game, or a Eugene game, or something with new conduits. I don't care. I still have to finish my replay of inFamous 2 and play Festival of Blood for the first time, but then I'm done with the series and I'm kind of not ready for that. I don't want any other superhero games, these are the only ones that matter honestly. (Although I guess the jumping/leaping powers in Saints Row 4 were pretty fun.)

So pretty much all I've been up to is writing and gaming and writing and gaming and editing and sleeping. And gaming.

I'll probably stay doing that, since nobody is allowed to leave the house. :L

If you want to keep up with what I do you can find me on Insta at @ApolloBlakeBooks or check out my latest release, a short story called Faces in Weeds! It's about a girl who commits a murder and her attempts to cover it up/splintering mental state.

Superhero High Book 1: FORCE (Announcement, Cover Reveal & Release Date!)

So, in my last post I promised you all that I wouldn't blog again until I had some cool stuff to announce and share. And now I do! My next title, FORCE (Superhero High Book 1) is coming out on January 10th 2020!

Force is actually a novella, not a full book. It's the first in a series of five titles following the students of Southaven High, a school for teens with powers, who in this world are listed as C-Class Citizens in the new American social caste system.

I had a ton of fun writing this one!

I would describe this series as, like, Smallville meets Degrassi? I've never actually seen an episode of Degrassi, but I know it's about teens at a high school and there are a ton of different generations or classes or whatever. Each novella follows a different student at the school, although they're all part of the main roster of characters who will each play a big role as they go on. I mean, not all of them, some of them just die, but I can't talk about that, because spoilers...

If that sounds interesting to you, here's the cover and blurb!

Two years ago a meteor shower rained alien particles known as Gemblood over most of the planet Earth, resulting in those humans with no immunity developing…abnormalities.

In the United States of America, where individuals with powers are listed as C-Class citizens, teenagers with abnormalities are sent to special schools, where they can hone their talents without hurting any A-Class citizens, AKA normals.

Welcome to superhero high…

Kacey Print only wants to disappear. After unleashing the powers she spent two years trying to hide, she ended up killing nine of her classmates in a tragic accident. Now the only reason she hasn’t been carted off to a maximum security prison for freaks like her is because of the timely intervention of one Dr. Christian Howell, the principal of Southaven High School, a black hole they toss people like her into to keep everybody else safe. He’s given her a second chance, even though she doesn’t deserve it, but straight-edge punk girl Kacey is going to have to fight for redemption if it’s what she truly wants, because all of a sudden, the school is under attack by a giant tentacled monster and a group of mysterious faceless men.

Welcome to your first day at Southaven! The only rule of orientation is ‘Don’t Die!’

I will update this post and make another announcement with all the links once it's available for pre-order in a week or two, and I'll also be posting the first chapter as a tease, so be on the lookout! I'm already working on book 2, TORCH, for a February release and I can't wait to share it!