This Is Not Enough

I'm still working on editing Force. It's been a long, grueling job - mostly because of my own procrastination, but let's ignore that - and I'm not pulling my hair out yet, but I might be close. Which would be bad, because I cut my own hair recently and I really like how it turned out. I'd rather not mess it up. Or mess up my book.

I was saying on Goodreads a few days ago that it will probably be out on the 12th, which is tomorrow, and that is so not happening. That said it's going to be soon. I'm not even saying a date because at this point it's comical how many times I've delayed this book. Novella. Whatever it is.

I really do love it, and I think it's super good, which is why I need to take my time with it and make sure it's perfect before I put it out. I don't want to have to touch it for another five to ten years; I already have way too many books I need to update the backmatter and front copy material for and it's such annoying grunt work to have to update it every two or three years for every title...

I finished Shadow of The Tomb Raider the other night and was underwhelmed with the ending. I wish they'd announce the next game already, but I try to be patient. It's obvious there has to be another one because, well...money. Companies like money. And in return they better keep blessing us with these Tomb Raider adventures.

Anyway, now it's back to playing Fallout 4 every other night for hours on end. I really, really love the Fallout universe and the atmosphere but I hate that this installment really wants me to care about my randomly generated spouse and baby. Let me make my own backstory please! The Courier was ideal as a blank slate, but I was also fine with the Fallout 3 backstory. The backstory for the player character in 4 is just way too involved and detailed. Dead/absent parents are one thing, but making players roleplay a parent who had a hetero marriage and basing so much of the story around it removes so many roleplay and character options, and that's half of what the fans love...

Honestly if I could have one DLC for this game it would be to edit Pickman and make him a fully fleshed-out character and available companion. It would be so good. Painting with blood only makes you a psychopath if you're not using raider blood, guys. IT'S TECHNICALLY A PUBLIC SERVICE.

It's a lot of fun to make your own characters in video games though, whether you're developing new OCs or just creating versions of existing ones, it's a lot of fun. When I was playing Dragon's Dogma last summer I made Dru and Vincent from my book Blood of Midnight and played with Dru as the arisen and Vincent my main pawn. That game is literally Dungeons and Dragons come to life and I adore it.*

(*And I never beat the game, so I have to go load up this save and play some more soon. I'm like barely into it, and it's huge, and I have so much to explore. I really do recommend it, even though I've been taking my sweet time getting back to it since I got my ps4.)

Aside from wandering the radioactive wastes I have been making progress on Force and the general outline/timeline/plans for the series as a whole. It's going to be 5 main installments ranging in length from 25k to 45k, and at least one short story of unknown length. I'm really excited for it, it's not like it's redefining the superhero genre or anything of the sort, but it is a cool, confident story. It's heavily influenced by the song Coming Right Along by The Posies, at least tonally/emotionally. I was listening to that on repeat while drafting the first story back in November 2019.

I've got a lot of editing to do tonight, but I do have a lot of faith this story is coming out soon. No sooner than it's ready, but soon.

In the meantime my new short story Faces in Weeds has gotten like no love, though not for lack of deserving it. If you'd like to read it you can check it out here for 99 cents. It's about a girl who commits a murder and her attempts to cover it up, and it's set in Georgia. Also, today's title comes from the song All The Things She Said. Poppy just released a new cover of it and I've been listening non-stop. I like it much better than the original, not going to lie.

Maybe You're My Enemy, You're The Only One Who Knows The Way I Really Feel

Title from Enemy by Charli XCX.

I'm pretty sure this blog is dead but that won't stop me from writing updates for it. In fact, I actually find it kind of comforting that very few people, if any, read my insane ramblings here. I'm almost done my next book, and I have a couple finished and semi-finished things I've been sitting on for a long time now, or at least what feels like a long time; I think the oldest of them dates back to November or so.

I have to edit a novella tonight and I'm having a nervous breakdown about it, so instead of actually doing it I thought I'd come complain about how long it's taking Rise of The Tomb Raider (a game that came out like five years ago while I was still working at Bath and Body Works, lol) to get here. I ordered it way too long ago. I can't really complain though because there's a pandemic and all, and the truth is it's amazing we can even still order stuff at all with all the craziness going on.

Since everybody is laid-off right now, I don't have the house to myself and everyone I live with is driving me insane. They're not really doing anything annoying, I just can't focus or think when people are around. Luckily, they go to bed weirdly early, and I can be the only one awake all night, and actually experience the silence and peace I need to work. Some people party all night - I just get around to doing the chores and work I should've done during the day, because I'm amazingly efficient and productive and on top of things. Yup. :)

My main problem in life right now is that the main character of the most recent book I wrote/am writing is Sam, and a major male character in the Superhero High stories is also named Sam, and I don't want to change either of them because it fits them both in different ways. It's fine, or at least I think it's fine, since plenty of people IRL have the same name, God knows there's a million men named Kai out there, but still, I don't like reusing them.

I think if Sam from the First War series met Sam from the Superhero High series, they'd either ignore each other entirely, or they'd build a bomb together. I don't think they'd be friends, (mainly because First War Sam is a college student who doesn't hang around with high school freshman) but they'd definitely team up in a pinch to pull of a con or an escape act.

Anyway that's what's been going on in my corner: intense internal debates about character naming choices. I also spent the better half of the day trying to catch a tiny mouse before my cats did so I could free it outside. Eventually got the little buddy safely out of the house and away from Angus and Cami and their little hunting party fantasy. I don't think either of them were happy I spared their prey, but I feel pretty happy for defying fate and sparing the mouse. He'll probably be eaten by an owl or a hawk before the night is through, but hey, maybe not. Maybe he's the Chosen One of the mouse world and he's off to fulfill a prophecy. Really none of my business, is it?

I also beat inFamous Second Son and Horizon Zero Dawn and I'm kind of emotional over both. The fact that they don't seem to be planning anymore inFamous games is a literal fucking crime. I guess four should be enough, but it's not. I'd love to see Cole come back, or another Delsin game, or a Eugene game, or something with new conduits. I don't care. I still have to finish my replay of inFamous 2 and play Festival of Blood for the first time, but then I'm done with the series and I'm kind of not ready for that. I don't want any other superhero games, these are the only ones that matter honestly. (Although I guess the jumping/leaping powers in Saints Row 4 were pretty fun.)

So pretty much all I've been up to is writing and gaming and writing and gaming and editing and sleeping. And gaming.

I'll probably stay doing that, since nobody is allowed to leave the house. :L

If you want to keep up with what I do you can find me on Insta at @ApolloBlakeBooks or check out my latest release, a short story called Faces in Weeds! It's about a girl who commits a murder and her attempts to cover it up/splintering mental state.

RETURN OF THE BLOG ZOMBIES

Obviously I've blogged more in the past couple days than I have in a long time, and that's going to keep happening, because I'm in a much more convenient position to write blog posts now. So, here's some stuff you can except to see me talking about in the next few weeks and months:

1) Spider-Man. This has happened and will happen again.

2) Video games in general. I've got Fallout 4 and inFamous First Light coming in the mail, and inFamous Second Son just arrived today.

3) The short stories I'm working on!

4) Pop music. Always pop music. Although right now I'm weirdly getting back into indie rock.

5) Dropping Like Flies. This is my next new full-length book and it's about a cannibal. Nuff said.

Everything Is Too Short

Everything is too short. That's what the problem is, if you ask me. Obviously you didn't, but here I am to give my opinions on random stuff nobody else cares about anyway.

What brought this thought on?

I replayed Saints Row 3 (one of the greatest and most absurd video games ever made) and I finished the game in like three days. It's the fifth or sixth time I've finished it--I remember playing it back in eighth grade in 2012 when my brother was away for school in another province. He left his xBox and I'd stay up every night after school playing it and listening to Kimbra while I drove around Steelport causing trouble. So it's not just nostalgic, it's comforting.

But the game is also too short. I was thinking how much better it would be if the first act was expanded; more missions exploring being a fish out of water in a new city and taking down the syndicate, since it feels like you move on to the other gangs too quickly. I'd also love an expanded third act with more of a battle against STAG, maybe with The Boss and Killbane teaming up.

Honestly, they could have made it a two-disk game and have disk two take place in an entirely different city.

I guess I just want another great Saints Row game, just not as abstract like 4 was.

But then the Star Wars trailer dropped and I got thinking the current trilogy would work better as a six volume story, since Rey's rise to power seems so rushed and there's still so much to explore with her past, and her and Kylo's chemistry, plus I want Stormpilot to happen, but obviously it won't. Maybe in a dream world audiences are enjoying a six movie epic (and I mean, Star Wars as a whole is nine movies plus Rogue One and Solo, which is great, but as a Reylo shipper, I want an entire movie of them running around as an odd couple, solving mysteries or some shit) but this is not that universe. I was hoping for a ballroom scene, an undercover mission, some romance....just more glamour from number three, but it looked kind of bland compared to The Last Jedi.

I have this problem with my books too; I was supposed to write a four chapter short story but somehow it got bumped to six chapters, but the scenes I'm adding are necessary and make everything better. Even then I'd love to add more to explore a certain character and a cool location a little more, but then it wouldn't be a short story anymore. I can't help it, I love big plots and I can not lie. I also want readers to feel like they got their money's worth out of a story.

Today I got too stoned and ate a lot of pizza and tried to record but didn't like anything I was doing, and then my mic started acting up. I really want to put out an EP soon and even drop an album this year, but I need a new laptop to make music on and write in a more comfortable position. I do have some cool potential album art and concepts lined up though.

That said, tonight and tomorrow are devoted to drafting this short story! It's called Glimpse and it's about a pixie and that's all I can really say until it's done.

The Wondrous Evil of Video Games

If I finish editing the first two chapters of Shadows tonight, impleneting the edit notes I drew up for those chapters earlier, then I'm going to let myself play Alice Madness Returns for a few hours, because while I love it, I've never beat it before, and I haven't played it in like, a year and a half. But I bought my own copy the other day, along with a copy of Final Fantasy XIII, and I'm taking turns with both of them.

Video games are evil, beautiful, distracting things that I should probably spend less time on. But I won't, because that's how I roll.

Consider My Tomb Raided

We're only two months into the year and I'm already dead. Cause of death: Tomb Raider DLC. Seriously, the new content looks amazing.

I was always horrified of Baba Yaga as a kid because of this folklore book that I had with a story about her in it. I thought she would kidnap me and turn me into her personal slave or something, make me live with her in her creepy chicken/cottage.

Video games are killing me.

Cause of death: gameplay footage from Rise of the Tomb Raider and Uncharted 4.

I'm a long-time fan of both these franchises. TR is one of the first games I ever played (TR3, to be specific) and I love archaeology, history, treasure hunting, and adventure. Action movies are my bread and butter, and these games have that vibe to them.

I mean, look at this:

I just - ugh! And damn, if I don't have a crush on Nathan Drake. That's one pixelated man that could marry this, if he wanted to.

And THIS:

I CAN'T. IT'S KILLING ME. PERFECTION. TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD. 

Now I'm gonna go scream some more.