Sunday 30 April 2017

The Best Diet

I've been living on weed and coffee, which is probably not the healthiest diet, but also kind of the best one. I'm working on a fun new adult standalone set in the same world as Beacon that I'm pitching as Paranormalcy meets Kill Bill.

It's got witches, secret government agencies that deal with the magical world, steamy romance between a witch and a beacon/werewolf hybrid.

Writing has been really hard recently, and I think the only thing that will fix it and get me back in the groove is to finish another book and just get it out. Which is partly why I wanted to write a standalone - so I don't have to write a bunch of sequels before I can put it out.

After this book is done I think I'm going to wrap up the Beacon trilogy and then put out a new Liesmith's Sins novella. Then I can attempt to finish the Deadheart Saga. It's daunting to think of writing a four-book series. Really, really daunting.

I've outlined the first three, and although I think the second one needs a bit more work, they're fairly strong. At least in my opinion. Which might be a little skewered. Still, I'm glad I decided to expand the length of the series because there was no way I'd be able to develop the main romance and all the side characters with the depth I want to in just two books. Plus, more books = more villains, and we all love that. :)

I'm not outlining this, aside from jotting down rough scene ideas as I write, like I did with the first Blood of Midnight book. I don't normally wing things, but I just want to take my time with this and have fun so I can remember why I got into writing in the first place.

So yeah, that's where I'm at - I've been getting stoned and mainlining coffees and writing about witches and wolves.

Wednesday 26 April 2017

Vampires and Lana

I wrote 1,300 words this evening and outlined the first novella in a new m/m vampire series I'm starting. I'm going to go write more in a minute, but I wanted to post another quick update. It's like, two in the morning and I'm listening to Lana Del Rey's new single Lust for Life while I write. I think what's so fun about this project is it's just for me.

I really love vampires, and this is kidnap romance, which is obviously my favorite. It reminds me a bit of the seraph chronicles, but it's also definitely its own unique creature. I think it's a little more intimate and darker than that--it's easier for me to work with vamps as a cultural touchstone because I grew up on them.

This is called Stolen, and I'm gonna try to put it out really soon. So get ready for gay vampire antics!

Down In Atlantis

If I haven't been blogging as much as I want to lately, it's only because I'm trying to break out of my weird writer's block. I have plenty of projects to work on, but I'm not sure if I'm in the right place, so I have to force myself to sit down and hammer out words every day, and most days I'm only hitting 500 or so before I call it quits. For comparison, I usually hit 4k a day at least while I'm in the middle of a project.

But that's not what's really depressing me. The fact that nothing ever changes has been what's depressing me. The fact that I live in the middle of nowhere with little human contact is what's been depressing me.

At least now it's summer. I deactivated my Facebook the other night, and I think I'm going to spend a lot of the next two months taking daily walks down to the river or other nice little areas around my house.

Back in summer 2015 me and Kuma were out running the roads a lot, and it felt like where I was supposed to be and everything was okay and the future looked good, so I'm trying to get back to that, because lately most days when I picture my future there's nothing but suicide or a big black blur. We walked to a nearby lake one day back then, and it took three hours but it was so worth it.

And now I can't believe it's been two whole years, that it's 2017, and I'm in the same place. We were planning so many big things back then that never happened, and I'm worried to let myself start living or planning things again when I know that those hopes might just crumble too.

I'm trying to keep my head down and work my way through whatever this funk is, and at least come out on the other side of it with a heightened wordcount. But it's been hard.

Which is why this blog has been drying up.

That, and I spend most of my days inside, sitting at the same spot, and don't have much to talk about. Like I said, though - winter is gone, and with the nice weather here maybe I won't be such a hermit.

Another big problem that keeps me from, you know, being me, is that every day I convince myself I'm dying of a terrible disease. I wake up like, "Oh my god, I think I have bone cancer!" And everybody else is like, "Kai, shut the fuck up."

And they are probably right.

But logic does not apply to the mass of writhing black gunk, toxins, and mental illness that is my brain. Meaning I spend my day imagining symptoms and worrying for nothing.

Or maybe I'm right, and one day soon I'll keel over of some undiagnosed monster tumor or something and you'll all be like, "We should have listened!" Either way, we're all cool. I am at peace with the void. Or if not peace, then like, a level of familiarity where the void and I could go shopping together without a third friend to be the buffer and it wouldn't be awkward, you know?

#TightWithTheVoid

Outside of all the gross personal stuff, I've been drinking as much coffee as I was before I said I wanted to try quitting caffeine. I'm still sleeping weird hours. I'm still outlining more projects than I can possibly write.

My brother really wants me to go see his new house, to the extent that he's holding my birthday gift hostage there, but I honestly never get a chance to go. I probably won't go until he gets a dog, and then I'll never go back again because I'm not welcome, because I tried to steal his dog, even though I have three of my own.

Although we may have to put our dog, Kota, down--she's really old, and her back legs are going and have been getting worse and worse for months.

Honestly, once I move out on my own I don't think I'll own pets. If I do, it will be like, a goldfish or two. That's it. Animals get too close to you and then they die. And they shed all over your house and keep you sneezing daily.

I'd love a little puggle, but I don't think I'd be a good pet owner on my own. Especially in the city...I wouldn't want to walk a dog at like 3 in the morning in the winter months. Plus I have strings of days where I don't shower, or brush my teeth, and I can't get out of bed, and I walk around in three-day-old pajamas with tangled hair and hiss at anybody who tries to talk to me. I don't know if the responsibility would be great for me, and I'm not one of those people who thinks the mere presence of a furry body is going to magically induce a cure for my mental illness or personal problems.

I think most animals are a lot of work, and I'm still trying to work out how to exist as a human, let alone a responsible adult. So. No pets. If I can show the self-restraint not to impulse buy a rabbit or some shit...

Aside from the threat of me someday coming home with a tortoise or a hamster I don't know how to properly care for, the most pressing issue for me has been my lack of finished work. We're just under halfway through the year and I still haven't finished a single book. I've barely done any work on the new edition of Iceblood, I just realized that Deadheart is going to be a four book saga instead of a duology (if I want to do the story justice, at least) and I'm feeling overwhelmed.

I also haven't been reading much at all, because nothing can catch my attention. Last night I finally gave up and started rereading Switched by Amanda Hocking, which is an old comfort read. (I think I've read the Trylle Trilogy six times since the first time I finished them in eighth grade, honestly.)

There really is never enough time. Especially not when I spend it blogging instead of peeing, making more coffee, or writing a chapter, all of which I have to do right now. So that's that.

Later :)

Tuesday 18 April 2017

What To Write?

No clue what to write today. I'll probably settle on starting my Evernight Falling Miniseries (Dru, Vincent, and Lucia as superheroes anyone?) but I have so many on the go it isn't even funny. I could start Iceblood or finish my novella Afterglow, but I'm not really feeling them.

So yeah, it's probably gonna be superheroes.

I really need to publish something that will make some money and I'm not sure if superheroes will do the trick, especially since these are both novellas and my novellas haven't sold as well as my other books. We'll try, though!

I feel bad always talking about money like it's my sole goal, but I am human, and I do need to eat, and if I'm being honest I barely have the funds to do that right now. If things could get a little easier financially, I don't think writing would be as hard as it is all the time - some of the pressure on my shoulders would be removed. Often when I sit down to write it's not just me thinking, "You love this and it's your dream." It's actually me thinking, "You love this and it's your dream, and also, you can't even afford instant coffee mix right now. You have to do this. Do you want to be poor forever?"

Which is kind of not getting me in the writing mood. However, this superhero tale (Hush) should be easy to write, since it's in my main genre (gay kidnap romance) and although it's a lot different, it does have similarities to Divinity, so I may do a few things here I wanted to do in that book but never had time to.

(Not to mention I am probably gonna add like 20 or 30 words to that before republishing it, when I get the chance :)

In the meantime here's an excerpt from Hush:

“Let me go!” I hiss.

“Nah,” he replies, a smile etched on his face. “Why would I do that?”

“Because I’m about to bite you!”

“Do it, cutie. I’m into that stuff.”

I scream and start wriggling again, trying to fight him off. His arms are like two cement beams wrapped around my shoulders.


“Calm down,” he whispers in my ear, voice brushed with influence. I go still, eyes widening at the sound of his deep hum. I can feel the haze descend over my brain, but I don’t try to fight it—nothing in my is willing to try. I relish his control.

Saturday 15 April 2017

Everything You Need to Know

So. I'm changing my name. From here on out I'll be going by Kai Bishop. I really didn't feel like Jinx suited me for a long time, but I was waiting for it to click or settle into place, and it never did.

I think one of the reasons I felt so detached from it is because most people would give me odd looks or outright laugh me off when I told them my name was Jinx, which was annoying. I can see where it might be hard to take that name seriously, though, especially after knowing me under my birth name. A lot of people in my personal life refused to call me Jinx, too, which was annoying - not necessarily because I wanted them to call me Jinx, just that I definitely didn't want them to call me by my birth name, either.

Kai is a nickname I had for years long before the idea of changing my name at all was a gleam in my eye, so a few close friends already call me that on instinct. I feel like it suits me better. It feels right, it sits on my shoulders well, and it rolls off the tongue. Plus it's a lot more common than Jinx, and a lot less campy.

As for Bishop, I wanted to stick with the same initials as my birth name to placate my parents, but my actual birth surname is really clunky and also hard for me to pronounce clearly because of this annoying mini-lisp I have. Bishop is a lot easier for me to pronounce and also sounds nice, so there you have it.

I'm updating my social media accounts and the content of my ebooks to reflect the change and this is what I'll be going by from now on :) and that's everything you need to know about that

Thursday 13 April 2017

Airships & Ice Plains

Tonight I get to start writing the new edition of Iceblood! Wait, another one? Kinda.

The last 'new edition' of Iceblood I put out was actually just Iceblood as a standalone. It was the same edition of the story published in Souls of Salt & Seawater, just available as a solo.

This is an expanded version with new scenes and chapters, more romance, more fighting, and...airships!


Obviously, I'm a little excited.

The reason I'm writing this is because while I originally intended for the sequel, Anarchy, to be about new characters in a new situation, when I sat down to write it, nothing would come out. It just wasn't a story I was interested in writing. I wanted to continue Atka's.

So now that this is an actual series - as in both books are about Atka and are from her pov, and you have to read them both for the complete experience, some things about the first book need to change.

First of all I'm publishing the new edition under my Cosmo Knox pen name, which should be enough to tell you it's gonna be a bit more mature - more killing, more steamy romance scenes, et-cet... But also, I wanted it to resemble more of a complete fulfilling story than just 'two street criminals rob a mansion together' - and this version is going to deliver that by raising the stakes and widening the scope of the story.

I love fantasy, and I put a lot of work into this world, so I figure I should use it.

I'm also going to be publishing Beacon sometime in the next two days, and I'll post links when it goes up! Until then I updated the series tab for that at the top of the blog, and added a tiny blurb for book two, Shine!

Beacon Cover Reveal

I've been up for way too long, but I finally finished editing Beacon! I just compiled the ebook and I'm gonna read through it and check for any errors I missed in the line edits/formatting, but that's just to be safe - the book is done.

Which means I get to post the cover!

I'll be publishing it sometime this afternoon, so I'll post here & on social media when it goes live, but until then, here's the pretty new cover!




Lilac Xia Jones is a beacon. Supernatural beings are drawn to her like moths to a burning flame, and the only thing she can do is hold on for the ride and hope she survives. As extraordinary adventures bleed into her everyday norm, dark forces begin to gather at the edges of her consciousness. Malevolent covens, demon boys, spirits, and vengeful goddesses have all converged on Lilac’s life—but none of them can prepare her for what’s to come...

How The Moonlight Burns

It's 4am and I only just finished editing the third Lilac series, which means I basically want to cry. I still have to edit the final one before I go to sleep, and even after that I want to draft a couple chapters of something else. I'm taking a quick break before I dive into it, but I am going to edit it tonight, just so I can share the cover, 'cause that's how I roll.


I also have nothing else to do with my time or energy so it makes sense to just write until I drop. I spent most of today sleeping. My aunt and her boyfriend came over for a while and I had no energy to deal with people so I just stayed in bed, though I had to get up and open a window because they were smoking and the house reeked.


So now I'm up. Writing. Being productive.

I need to put out more titles because the few I have out aren't selling well, which means I have to keep trying new things. I think it's mainly because:

A) I don't do much marketing (I honestly don't have the energy for it and interacting with people makes me really anxious so it takes a lot of build-up to force myself to do it, even with people I like)

B) The books I have out are mostly ya, and ya readers don't really take as many chances on new or unpopular writers, especially indie ones

C) I don't have /that/ many books out.

It's important to me to be prolific - I want to be consistently putting out new releases, and I haven't been doing that because life and mental illness and a million other problems, barriers, and admittedly, a few excuses.

Tonight once I finish editing Beacon I'm probably going to start on a new edition of Iceblood, which will be longer and have expanded scenes and passages. Instead of writing the original idea I had for Anarchy, which just wasn't working out, I'm going to make it a direct sequel to Iceblood, continuing with Atka's pov and story as opposed to exploring a new character.

So that's where I'm at! I'm sorry this blog is a bit of a boring 'here's what I'm working on' piece, but I haven't done much in the past few days. I did walk around the woods and take photos and selfies, since it's finally spring and the snow has melted for the most part, but other than that...not much.

But if all goes according to plan, I may be posting a cover reveal before the night is out! :)

Monday 10 April 2017

Wherever I Go He's Been

I finished editing the first of the Lilac Jones stories for Beacon tonight so now I'm letting myself start drafting a just-for-fun paranormal romance and I figured I'd throw some writing music at y'all!

So, here's what I'm listening to:


Bloodstream by Astrid S (The title of this post comes from this song)



Now or never by Halsey... I waited two years for this and I'm so, so in love with it.




And, obviously, Burning Bridges by Bea Miller.




Forget My Name At Midnight

(*Title from the lyrics to Night Mime by Melanie Martinez)

First of all, I need to point out how pretty and sleek this blog is now. It was pretty and sleek before, but the new blog templates are super simple and aesthetically pleasing. I've been meaning to make this space cleaner and more professional looking for a while, especially since I'm not interested in making a static author site - I find them boring and dated, and I suspect most other readers do, as well.

That said, this page itself has been pretty static lately. Part of that is just me being the reclusive hermit I really am at heart and moping in a depressive state. I recently turned twenty-one and I always get weird and introspective around my birthdays. (Which is to say most of my days this month have been spent in bed, staring at the wall and musing about mortality and the human soul. Total downer, right?)

Another part of it is that I've been on an outlining kick, writing treatments and summaries for a bunch of books, along with designing covers and trying to hash out when I'm working on which projects.

I just finished revamping Blood of Midnight and publishing it under my adult pen name, Cosmo Knox. The main difference is that it has a new cover and a new name on it, but the material of the book is unchanged, aside from a new author note explaining the concept of the series. Essentially I decided that Dru's story from Blood of Midnight was complete in and of itself, despite the open ending, and I didn't want to write a direct sequel. Instead, each book in the series will be a new take on the same characters and scenarios, in the vein of the Legend of Zelda series.



In book two, Dru and Lucia will be boys, named Dru and Lucien, Vincent will be a Magister instead of a prince, and the Evernight curse will take a different form. The paranormal element also changes from vampires to sphinxes, which I'm excited about, since I feel like it's a more interesting, original mythology than vamps - although I do love hot boys with fangs. :)

That's not to say it's the same story repeated again - several aspects of both the world and characters are tweaked, but the plot always plays out a different way, with characters filling different roles. I've even considered making Dru the villain in a few of them... Book two in particular is going to play into a lot of different tropes and stories than what I explored in Blood of Midnight.

Some will be high fantasy while others are urban fantasy and paranormal romance... I may even write a contemporary slasher iteration of the story. (Scream vibes, anyone?)

Which is to say, each book is a standalone, and they can be read together or alone, and in any order.

Right now I'm editing the four original Lilac Jones Adventures stories to be republished as Beacon, the first in a trilogy of short story collections.

I have a cover to share, which is really pretty, neon, and hazy, but I'm holding it hostage for a while since I'm not done editing the stories. That said it should be out sometime this week.

In case you're wondering, that does mean there will be some fairly glaring changes to the stories before I republish them.

First of all, I wrote the first few when I was eighteen, and I'm just a way better writer and editor now.

Second of all, I want to spruce the books up for clarity and mine them for deeper material; mostly just developing characters and relationships further and showcasing who Lilac is as a person, outside of her adventures as a beacon. Also, when I wrote them I wanted them to be fast, fun, light stories that were kind of juvenile, and while they're still whimsical and entertaining, I did want to make them slightly more mature and display more of Lilac's intelligence and capabilities for the books to come. (I'm calling them Shine & Hex as of now, but they may change.)

I'll be updating the Lilac Jones tab at the top of the blog soon, but until then the old versions of the series will be there. Once I update it the page name will change to Beacon to match the new publication!

Beacon will contain the previous four stories with new editing and a few brand new vignettes added between them, while all the material in Shine and Hex will be new and never before published, and is yet to be written. The main bulk of my editing is updating the previous stories to match my current voice the the jump between books isn't too glaring, although there will be a time jump of half a year between the end of Beacon and the start of Shine.

I do plan on releasing other books set in this series in the future, and I have three other short story/novella series in the works right now that I want to focus on this year.

I'll be blogging more in the days to come - both about Beacon & those other projects, plus some craft stuff, so stay tuned! :)

***

You can follow me on Twitter here, or buy my books here...thanks for reading!

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