Love & Fear & Maybe More Robots

I'm listening to Karma by Marina again and I keep thinking that this double-album was underappreciated by the fandom. People on Popheads are always trashing it as her worst release but I really don't know. Karma is great, Orange Trees is one of my favorite songs by her, and a lot of people seem to love Handmade Heaven, like even people who dislike the albums agree that song is good. So. I think there's a false verdict on this one.

Anyway I've got this novella to edit and a novel to finish, and I'm sitting here resisting the lure of a new potential WIP. I HAVE WAY TOO MUCH ON THE GO TO START NEW STORIES. So I am holding myself back by the scruff of the neck.

I WILL get to that other story eventually, but yeah, tonight is all about Force. As is every night until I freaking finish it. I'm not playing around any more. I thought I'd have it AND the sequel out by now so I have to pick up slack. I will say, drafting-wise, this year has been very productive for me. But drafting, and editing those raw materials into a publishable product are not the same thing...I want Force to be perfect before I release it, and the same with these other projects. I want them at their full potential.

The thing with Force is, I can't just edit it; I have to edit it AND use it as a tool to set up the rest of the series. All other four novellas have ties to Force and what happens in it. It's the basis for this whole world. So it's a lot of pressure. Book two is going to be a lot more fun, I hope. Force isn't soul-crushing to work on like some other projects I've been dealing with, but it's tough, high-energy work, that's for sure. I am having fun spending time with these characters, though, especially Kacey and Unity.

All I know is that I would like to publish multiple titles this month and I don't know if that's going to be a realistically attainable goal right now. Only time will tell; it's all about patience. Now I'm going to go and add more androids and robots to this book now, because I just realized how crucial to the plot they are but also how few we see in book 1 compared to the others. Ah, the fun of editing.

This Is Not Enough

I'm still working on editing Force. It's been a long, grueling job - mostly because of my own procrastination, but let's ignore that - and I'm not pulling my hair out yet, but I might be close. Which would be bad, because I cut my own hair recently and I really like how it turned out. I'd rather not mess it up. Or mess up my book.

I was saying on Goodreads a few days ago that it will probably be out on the 12th, which is tomorrow, and that is so not happening. That said it's going to be soon. I'm not even saying a date because at this point it's comical how many times I've delayed this book. Novella. Whatever it is.

I really do love it, and I think it's super good, which is why I need to take my time with it and make sure it's perfect before I put it out. I don't want to have to touch it for another five to ten years; I already have way too many books I need to update the backmatter and front copy material for and it's such annoying grunt work to have to update it every two or three years for every title...

I finished Shadow of The Tomb Raider the other night and was underwhelmed with the ending. I wish they'd announce the next game already, but I try to be patient. It's obvious there has to be another one because, well...money. Companies like money. And in return they better keep blessing us with these Tomb Raider adventures.

Anyway, now it's back to playing Fallout 4 every other night for hours on end. I really, really love the Fallout universe and the atmosphere but I hate that this installment really wants me to care about my randomly generated spouse and baby. Let me make my own backstory please! The Courier was ideal as a blank slate, but I was also fine with the Fallout 3 backstory. The backstory for the player character in 4 is just way too involved and detailed. Dead/absent parents are one thing, but making players roleplay a parent who had a hetero marriage and basing so much of the story around it removes so many roleplay and character options, and that's half of what the fans love...

Honestly if I could have one DLC for this game it would be to edit Pickman and make him a fully fleshed-out character and available companion. It would be so good. Painting with blood only makes you a psychopath if you're not using raider blood, guys. IT'S TECHNICALLY A PUBLIC SERVICE.

It's a lot of fun to make your own characters in video games though, whether you're developing new OCs or just creating versions of existing ones, it's a lot of fun. When I was playing Dragon's Dogma last summer I made Dru and Vincent from my book Blood of Midnight and played with Dru as the arisen and Vincent my main pawn. That game is literally Dungeons and Dragons come to life and I adore it.*

(*And I never beat the game, so I have to go load up this save and play some more soon. I'm like barely into it, and it's huge, and I have so much to explore. I really do recommend it, even though I've been taking my sweet time getting back to it since I got my ps4.)

Aside from wandering the radioactive wastes I have been making progress on Force and the general outline/timeline/plans for the series as a whole. It's going to be 5 main installments ranging in length from 25k to 45k, and at least one short story of unknown length. I'm really excited for it, it's not like it's redefining the superhero genre or anything of the sort, but it is a cool, confident story. It's heavily influenced by the song Coming Right Along by The Posies, at least tonally/emotionally. I was listening to that on repeat while drafting the first story back in November 2019.

I've got a lot of editing to do tonight, but I do have a lot of faith this story is coming out soon. No sooner than it's ready, but soon.

In the meantime my new short story Faces in Weeds has gotten like no love, though not for lack of deserving it. If you'd like to read it you can check it out here for 99 cents. It's about a girl who commits a murder and her attempts to cover it up, and it's set in Georgia. Also, today's title comes from the song All The Things She Said. Poppy just released a new cover of it and I've been listening non-stop. I like it much better than the original, not going to lie.

The One Where I Get Anxiety From Everything & I Play Tomb Raider About It Instead of Coping

I think I've neglected this blog enough for the year. I've also been neglecting my personal diary, so there's enough of that to go around, but tonight I'm saying no more, and I am going to update both!

I have seriously been slacking off lately. My work has gone untouched while I play more Tomb Raider than I have any right to. I bought Rise and Shadow so I've been running through them both for the first time. I love Rise most, it's got the sturdiest writing and I think the world is more open. Shadow is fun though, it's got beautiful puzzles and more challenging tombs, although some of them have wonky spots in them. I also enjoy the more emotional moments between Lara and Jonah. She's been bottling up her angst for an installment or two and seeing it all pile up and break out is amazing.

The first game is still my favorite and always will be, though. It felt the most emotionally complex and grounded at the same time, even with the samurai zombies and stuff. I feel like we've never understood Lara and seen inside her mindset as much as we did in the first game. In Rise and Shadow she's bad-ass, sure, but she's also more withdrawn and it's hard to really get into her mind even with her journal entries.

I'm not going to play video games tonight until much later, though, because I'm determined as all hell to get in a round of editing on Force tonight. I only need to update and clarify a few things but I've pushed back the release date so many times and now it's ten days away so it needs a bit more brushing up before I finally put it out.

For those of you who don't follow, Force is book/novella 1 in my Superhero High serial that I recently announced. The Goodreads page is up, and it's got the placeholder cover and a cool blurb, as well as a bit more information. The proposed release date this time is on the 12th of this month, and it's making me majorly anxious because I'm not ready, never mind the book itself. I know it's good, but release is making me antsy. What if nobody reads it?! What if everybody reads it?! What if there's a huge gaping problem or plot hole I'm skipping over because I'm too close to it? And this is why I should stop neglecting my journal; it causes me to build up way too much anxiety!

I'm going to go do some self-care and get my emotional and mental state in check, now, but that said you should definitely check out the Force page on Goodreads I linked above and add it to your TBR!

Thanks for reading. :3