Tuesday 24 May 2016

Why Do I Obsess Over These Things?

Lately I've been wondering why I get obsessed with random, strange things. When I say obsessed, I mean my brain will latch onto something odd and specific for weeks at a time, so it's all I can think about or focus on. It happens with events or people, tragedies or pieces of art or historical periods.

I know everybody has obsessions, and its normal to latch onto certain things or run into mental stumbling blocks, but I wonder about it a lot.

So, here's a list of things I've gone through obsessions with:

The Titanic:

I feel like a lot of people can relate, but I've spent hours and hours researching the Titanic, reading about it. I think one reason certain tragedies/events like this stand out in my mind because I have a really big fear of being trapped. The idea of being on the ship as it sank and knowing what was happening with no way off, I can't get out of my mind what that must have felt like or what those people must've been going through.

Grimes:

Yes, the singer. Not, like, her, as a person, but more her work and her creative process. I get really fascinated by the way certain artists work, and it doesn't matter if they're a producer or a painter or a writer - watching artists work and seeing them talk about their work, it's oddly something really fascinating for me. I've read like, 19 Grimes interviews. Interviews are a big thing for me for this reason.

Blythe Dolls:

This one was years ago. I don't know why I was so fascinated/fixated by them, but I was. They're kind of creepy, looking back on it.

9/11:

This one is similar to the Titanic. Knowing people were trapped in those buildings, and seeing images of them falling. The falling really, really gets me, because I have a fear of heights, too. It's a tragedy, and it's something that's hard to let go of, for some reason it's something I think of a lot.

Animorphs:

Another strange one, but there's something about fictional worlds. I'll spend hours reading through wikis, and this past few weeks it's been Animorphs summaries and wiki pages, but before it's been Game of Thrones or Vampire Academy. I get really fascinated by fictional worlds, particularly high-concept ones, for some reason. It's another thing my brain can't let go of.

Cleopatra Selene:

She was the only child of Cleopatra to reach adulthood. She saw her parents and siblings die, her home was torn from her. What did that feel like? How did she reflect on it later life, as a powerful leader herself? What was her story like, when history remembers so very, very little of it?


I don't know. Some of these things actively give me anxiety or bring on bouts of depression, but I can't let go of them. Others are just, random fascination, I guess? I don't know. It's just a small fraction of the stuff my brain gets stuck on.

Maybe I'm defective.

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