Discussing YA: sex & masturbation in YA novels.

So today we're gonna talk about sex. And masturbating. Why? It's important. That's right kids, it's time to talk about the birds and the bees. And I don't mean the ones who make you think oh fuck, not again, when they start chirping outside your window at four am to remind you you still haven't slept, yet.

Nope. I'm talking 'bout the ones you use to make babies. Or not, if you're me, and hate children, which I am, and do.

Moving on: kids and teens need to read about positive portrayals of sex and masturbation.

Teenagers need to be reading scenes where teenage characters engage in healthy, safe, consensual acts of sex and self-pleasure. They need to read these scenes with straight couples and queer couples, across spectrums of gender identity.

Why? Because if they don't we're opening them up for an intense whirlwind of unhealthy attitudes and experiences and harmful situations/

Teenagers are having sex. They're thinking about sex and talking about sex and engaging in it. They're touching themselves and exploring their bodies and often putting themselves in dangerous, unhealthy positions and relationships in order to do it.

Why is this important? Because we live in a society that commodifies people's bodies and the idea of sexual pleasure, in a world where a capitalistically informed version of sex and relationships, one governed by heteronormative ideals and harsh beauty standards. And it's fucking with kids heads.

So, my writing advice for this week is just this: let your characters have a good relationship with their bodies, let them have sex without feeling ashamed or being shamed by others.

Talk about sex in an honest, frank, healthy way. It's on your readers' minds and it's a part of their lives. Teenagers lives are not rated pg-13; they just aren't. They do drugs and have sex and witness violence, like any other humans do. We need to stop crafting stories for teenagers in which they see glorified, perfect versions of themselves that have no flaws and no disposition towards human behaviours.

I.E. teenagers aren't perfect and often, writing perfect characters who never do a thing wrong or ignore emotions and experiences that aren't 'appropriate' can be harmful to your readers.

Does this mean cramming pointless sex into every scene or sacrificing substance or tone to include these scenes? No. But it does mean they should be considered and treated as a part of normal, daily, teenage life, which they are.