Chaotic Array

Title from My Name Is Dark  by Grimes. I'm probably not going to win NaNoWriMo this year; I only have like 3000 words left to go, but I'm probably not going to hit it because I'm in a bad place psychologically and probably won't write that much before 12, if I write today at all. I slept all day and played a little Kingdom Hearts 3 and that's it. And if that's it, that's fine, at least I was lazing off instead of getting into more trouble. I really don't trust myself to do much else today. Basically I've been listening to Grimes and enjoying moping around hating myself and life and feeling all defeatist about everything. Obviously I should have loftier goals, but we all have Those Days TM. I picked up a copy of Awakener by Alisha Howard on Kindle because it's free on Amazon.ca right now, and I bought all the paperbacks for the My Blood Approves series by Amanda Hocking. I'm finally going to own one of my favorite self-published serie...

Here's a passage I wrote on this blog way back in 2016 that I found again today and really needed to hear: AT LEAST ONCE in your writing career, but probably way more times than that, you will find yourself sitting on the floor in your underwear, getting drunk and crying, wondering if you're throwing your life away. You may or may not try to ask your dead relatives for advice from beyond the grave. They won't give it to you, though, selfish villains that they are. This is normal. This is the stress of being a living, working artist. But you know why you got into this and you know what it means to you, so don't you fucking let your stress win. We've all felt like we were facing doomsday at one point or another, legacy or self-published, and those storms always pass. It doesn't matter if you're a first-time indie or the next Suzanne Collins with hype and a big six publisher and a movie deal at your back - you have undertaken a huge project, and you are allow...

Obviously I've blogged more in the past couple days than I have in a long time, and that's going to keep happening, because I'm in a much more convenient position to write blog posts now. So, here's some stuff you can except to see me talking about in the next few weeks and months: 1) Spider-Man. This has happened and will happen again. 2) Video games in general. I've got Fallout 4 and inFamous First Light coming in the mail, and inFamous Second Son just arrived today. 3) The short stories I'm working on! 4) Pop music. Always pop music. Although right now I'm weirdly getting back into indie rock. 5) Dropping Like Flies. This is my next new full-length book and it's about a cannibal. Nuff said.

All of my grandparents are gone now, which is a really weird feeling. I never really knew my grandfathers, in fact I only met one of them. But my grandmothers were such a huge part of my life, and it feels weird that I haven't talked about them much here, because it just feels painful and hard. But now I think I am at a place where I can talk about them from a place of happiness and wonder at the fact that I got to meet these beautiful people and share so many moments with them in life. Like a lot of kids, my parents were always busy working, they both had nine-to-five jobs that were physically demanding, and they were overworked and underpaid, so I got left with my grandparents a lot while my brother who was older was allowed to run around with his friends or go to after-school programs. I had no problem with this, because I was antisocial and I liked my grandmothers both better than I liked other kids my age and my friends at school. Even as an eleven year old boy, I had the pe...

All I've been doing for the past few days is play Spider-Man for the PS4 and waiting for my new laptop to come in the mail. It's here now, and it's very fancy, and I'm using it to catch up on NaNoWriMo, and, yes, writing Spider-Man fanfic. I'm only human. I grew up on Spidey. I know most of us did, but still; when my dad was a kid in the seventies and eighties he would dress up as Spider-Man and climb on top of his roof to amuse his friends. When my brother and I were growing up in the late nineties and early two-thousands, we had cool Spider-Man pajamas and toys and gadgets like mini web-shooters that shot silly string all over the house and effectively turned our mother homicidal. We watched the Sam Raimi trilogy all the time. Toby isn't my favorite Spider-Man, or even my favorite movie Spider-Man, but he was still fantastic, even though those movies got corny sometimes. I have a very clear memory of going to a birthday party at some kids house when I was ...