I Am A Total Liar (Here's Why) + NaNoWriMo!

 I wrote a blog post the other day where I totally just lied. I THINK I said my NaNoWriMo project this year was probably gonna be a dark contemporary. Or at least I said I was working on one. And it was gonna be my NaNo novel. That book about wildfires/grief is still in the works, but I'm not working on it this month. I'm gonna write a good old paranormal romance for NaNoWriMo instead.

It's called Lovely Omens and it's about witches and that's all I'm gonna say. It also has lots of cute animals. But that's it.

I think some of the ideas and vibes and stuff I'm putting into this book are ideas I've had in some form since 2013, so it's been a decade of wanting to write a witchy romance just like this. I have written witchy romance before, Shadows of Ourselves, anyone? And I will do it again. But this one is unique as fuck, if I do say so myself.

So. That's my NaNo vibe.

The playlist is mostly Smashing Pumpkins, Blur, The Pixies, My Bloody Valentine, etc. The more of this classic stuff I find the more Spotify wants to rec it to me. I like Blur and I've loved every Pixies song I've heard over the years, but both Smashing Pumpkins and My Bloody Valentine are 'classic' or semi-classic bands I've never listened to. I missed those pivotal phases. So I'm going through it now, and loving it. I think Smashing Pumpkin's will be Ophelia's favorite band.

I'm also putting a little Joy Division in there. And the new Melanie Martinez album is iconic, of course. But I'm gonna continue prepping and drinking and getting ready to write! Once midnight comes I gotta get in at least the first few chapters. I know exactly what scenes I want to open the novel with but I don't know fully how to pull it off.

I hope people like this romance. The guy, Gage (his original name was Gunnar, but I think Gage fits him MUCH, MUCH BETTER) is so cute and tragic but so nice, he has a bit of a mysterious broody punk vibe, but he's mostly a good, normal man, not a crazy villain type. Maybe my next love interest will be villainous.

Anyway I ordered something the other day I cannot wait for. It's shipping in two packages and Canada Post says the main one with two books in it will be here April 5th. It's Switched, Torn, and Ascend by Amanda Hocking; the Trylle trilogy. I already have them, because Amanda Hocking is one of my favorite authors ever, and I've read them a billion times already. I have all three troll trilogies, I have two copies of Switched and a paperback arc of Crystal Kingdom. I got Tidal for free back when it came out for doing free publicity for it.

I've always loved Amanda's books, is my point. She's how I learned about self-publishing and I read her books and blog a thousand times throughout middle school and high school.

So it's exciting to me that I can finally own the original self-published paperbacks of the trylle trilogy, the ones with the turquoise/teal covers. I love them so much. It's one of my favorite covers. And I've seen them in pics and videos but never in person. Believe it when they get here I will take a bajillion pictures of them and post them everywhere.

After this the main thing I need to complete my Hocking collection is:

-The original Hollowland paperback edition with the red heart (I don't care about this one but it would be a nice thing to have one day.)

-The Hollows paperback editions with the old designs/Phatpuppy art designs. (I find these fugly but I still want them for nostalgia's sake.)

-The special edition omnibus of the Trylle that only had 100 copies made. (I really, really want this one enough to go feral and bite someone for it.)

I also still have to get Bestow The Darkness (an actual masterpiece) and Virtue/Tristitia in paperback, too. Then I'd have a complete collection and would feel like a total boss.

I'm so looking forward to seeing the difference between the self-pubbed and traditionally published versions of the Trylle trilogy, though. I know in these earlier editions Forening didn't have a name, so I'm curious what other little details were added later. I'm sure either way they're still good, though I'm also equally sure the trad-pubbed ones are probably better.

Anyway, I should get back to outlining my book. Because I haven't finished that, yet.

Also! Before I go, if you don't know, I often (not always, but often) use Katytastic's outline template/structure. It's three acts, each in nine parts, and it has never failed to create a very fun novel for me. You can use it for any genre and it never feels like a template because it's just basic story structure stuff. Like I said, I don't always use it, but I do like it a lot, I used it for Shadows of Ourselves, if I remember correctly, and I'm using it for this book too. I highly recommend it if pacing or plot isn't your strong suit.

Noodles, Red Bull, & Camp Nano Prep

 I was supposed to reformat Digital Demon and do some research/studying last night (according to me, myself, and I) but I cancelled my own plans and spent the night writing instead. I semi-outlined my Camp NaNoWriMo project, which looks like it's going to be a dark contemporary about grief, trauma, and forest fires/wildfires. And then there's also the short story/novella project I wrote half of last night that I cannot even begin to describe.

Or I guess I can describe it by saying it's Zelda: Twilight Princess vibes with a dash of Jim Henson type goodness thrown in? And maybe a sort of multiverse twist, which isn't so much of a twist because multiverses and many-worlds stuff is popular in the mainstream right now. Or maybe not, depending on how Marvel's multiverse movies are getting responded to. But that's not people hating the multiverse; it seems like the multiverse stuff in Dr. Strange was most of what people liked about it, aside from Wanda stans being Wanda stans. The truth is people just want it executed in a certain way.

All I know is I'm 6k words in and this story is cray-cray. I have a title for the Camp Nano novel but I'm not sharing it, and I only have a working title for the fantasy novella right now. But I have to go keep writing that.

I'm drinking Red Bull and listening to Crumbs by Rebecca Black, and I will probably spend the entire night on this. I'm 100% okay with that, though. It has an evil talking sword and lizard people! Did I mention the lizard people?!

Yeah, I'm #TeamReptoid all the way. Abduct me, aliens!

At some point tonight when this Red Bull has fueled a couple thousand words and I have scrounged up some beef Mr. Noodles I will post another blog, because for some reason I'm back on my blogging kick. Literally nobody uses or reads Blogger anymore as far as I know, except maybe for porn, but then, humans will use anything for porn, so I guess that's not new.

And maybe, MAYBE, if things go well, I will be able to post a quote from one of these WIPS later.

In The Trees, The Air, Everywhere But Here

 I'm still committed to bringing this blog back to life. Today at some point I want to edit and reformat some of my book pages with updated information and stuff, but for right now I figured a new post would be much better than nothing. Being an author is weird; I really don't like doing admin stuff but if I don't I feel weirdly restless and frustrated, so, there's gotta be a balance to be struck there.

I've been watching The Orville and while I can understand why season one got some harsh reviews (some of the jokes go on too long or feel too pointless, some of the worldbuilding details are too unspecified and unexplored) but for the most part I love it. The episodes with Liam Neeson (just a cameo) and Charlize Theron (carried her entire episode) were fantastic. Pria was an amazing character, it looks from TV Tropes like the fans wanted her to return but she never did, I figured throughout the entire episode it felt almost like a backdoor pilot for a spinoff she could carry.

I would love to work on a space union crew exploring the galaxy, having adventures, sure (who wouldn't, right, it feels redundant to even say so) BUT I know I would have bad luck and would be stuck wearing a color I don't like. Like, the green jackets on the Orville look amazing. And that one general in a purple jacket? Stunning. But the red and blue look a little patchy and cheap to me. And I'd never wear the yellow ones, I'd mutiny if I had to.

I made a playlist the other day for Atrocity, the sequel to Divinity, and I'm excited to start working on that. I do have a couple other projects I'm going to finish first, including a round of edits on Divinity. I don't know when the new edition will be out, since I've only edited half of chapter one, but it's already so much cleaner and more professional than it was.

I don't think the book was bad before by any means, but it's amazing I figured it was publishable with so many clunky sentences and fragments and weird phrasings. I am having a lot of fun giving it more professional shine. My writing and tastes have levelled up since I published this book back in 2017, but then again the entire world has changed so drastically since then that kind of figures. A plague and a war and a bunch of other stuff happened. Is happening. That's the crazy thing; it feels like it's in the past but we're all still living it, it's just become the daily reality so we barely second-guess it. It's hard to fathom totally.

This morning I made a list of author things I have to do today. Most of them revolve around Digital Demon (which is still available on Wattpad here!) and formatting the ebook for it. I have to spruce up my personal template and watch a couple of tutorials on ebook formatting.

I see such a big difference in quality between my formatting and the stuff in other ebooks so obviously the goal is to bridge that gap. Figure out how to add illustrations/images for my chapter breaks so I can include exclusive art, figure out how to space and format the margins better so it doesn't look as compacted or jarring on-screen, that sort of thing. They're fine details I'm sure a lot of readers don't pay much attention to, but they add up quickly.

My dream is to afford Vellum, but that's very expensive software, at least when you're broke, which I am. It sure looks intuitive and fun, though. Intuitive software suits me best, anything that looks ugly or too complex for no reason is instantly off-putting, but if something is designed with a very nice intuitive layout and I can learn it by using it instead of watching a billion tutorials, then we're rolling. Vellum seems like one of those programs. Design and user experience need to be focused on as much as function when you're trying to create a tool for mass-use.

Anyway, that's what I'm focusing on today; making Digital Demon more available in more forms to more people. And I figure part of that is singing its praises, so I might have another post about it later, because I want more people to read it, because it took a long time and I think it's good.

I put off editing that story for so long but I like the way it turned out a lot, so maybe that's a sign I should stop listening to my writer's block so much and just trust my own voice, right?

I watched Kiki's Delivery Service for the 30th time today and I cried again, multiple times. It just gets me like that. It's a quiet movie but so relatable. Kiki losing the ability to understand Gigi leaves me sobbing every time.

When Kiki says to Osono "I'm still a witch in training, so if I can't do magic I've lost everything!" it hits so hard because I've totally been there, as have most people: when you rest your entire identity and personhood and purpose of existence on one thing, and then it's taken from you? That rocks you to your core and can truly be such a hollowing and shocking experience you really feel like all is lost, all hope has fled.

For me that was placing my entire identity and personhood on being an artist, an author, and then when I got writer's block and stopped writing for years it basically gave me a nervous breakdown. I had no clue who I was or what worth I had without writing and being successful at it, and I felt like I'd failed utterly on every level. So I had to relearn who I was and develop my sense of identity and worth in other ways. But writing again definitely still feels like flying again, especially when I get into the all-encompassing flow state where you're flying by the seat of your pants, or I guess by how fast you can type, and you know nothing can ever slow you down or touch you. That fire. That's magic.

I'm gonna go try to write something and cook up some magic, but then once I get my daily words in, it's time for formatting and watching tutorials and the likes.

Oh, and Digital Demon is good and you should read it. It only has like 26 reads as of this writing compared to Shadows of Ourselves which has 80 thousand, so obviously that's a pretty big discrepancy. Of course Shadows is a much longer and much better book than Digital Demon, but I still want Demon to have its moment! So please check that out here.

Or keep an eye on this space for free epub/pdf downloads to appear later!

Life, Signs, Reasons, Snow & Fresh Starts

 I somehow didn't post for an entire year. It was probably for a million reasons. I had big plans, but most of them fell through. I didn't have anything to talk about, or so much I wanted to talk about I got anxious and psyched myself out of it. I had a billion dumb thoughts that I posted to Instagram stories instead of blogging about. People and animals died. Life lost its meaning for a while, and I lost the threads.

Lately I've been reminiscing about how much I used to blog. I really loved it. It didn't matter how many or how few people read it; a blog post could get two views and I was still getting joy out of it. I still love reading old blog posts from years ago.

I am writing. In little bursts here and there. And I did publish a novella a while back, called Digital Demon. Which you can read on Wattpad, right here!

The basic premise is that a demon comes out of a guy's computer and tries to eat him.

It took me two years to get around to editing that story; I wrote it in November or December 2020. I cannot believe it took me so long to stop procrastinating and obsessing over it and just force myself to edit it. But editing it took it from like 6k to around 12k words or higher. I don't remember the final wordcount, but it went from short story to novella and got a couple new scenes that got me really excited about the story again. In the end it only took a few days to edit it, I just wish it hadn't taken two years to get around to those two days, but such is clinical depression and lots of grief from lots of death.

Basically I have a lot going on right now writing-wise and I don't want to talk about any of it in great detail and jinx myself. But what I can talk about is that I'm downloading Final Fantasy 7 Remake to replay it, but it's making my internet slow as hell.

And I can tell you that I'm watching Troy: Fall of A City. It's been pretty corny so far but the main actor playing Paris/Alexander is hot, so I'll keep watching. The sets are nice too. The costumes feel weird, like they should have had some of the actors/characters switch wardrobes honestly. And I don't know if the actress playing Helen of Troy is serving what she needs to, she seems kind of alien. Either way I'm gonna continue with it.

But first I'm gonna grab some snacks and figure out what project I want to work on next. I'm gonna watch some Community and do some sketching while I do that, though.

The 100 Novel Review

3.5 out of 5 stars rounded up! This was a lot of fun!

The 100 is one of my favorite tv shows. I've seen it at least three or four times, and I just started a new rewatch because I was looking for some comfort and nostalgia. Honestly it's one of the best sci-fi shows out there. And I enjoyed the first season of the show much more than this book, but it was still fun seeing another take on these characters; like when your teacher in elementary school tells everyone to draw a monster or a tree, so you can see how everybody executes the same ideas differently.

The show and novel were both the idea of an editor at Alloy Entertainment, and each were developed separately, at the same time. It's the same general idea: 100 delinquents are sent to earth from a space station, and must survive the ground and learn its secrets, while back on their station, infrastructure breaks down and things become more and more desperate and menacing.

The novel has its own neat surprises though. I enjoy Luke and Glass who are clearly variants of Finn and Raven, respectively. Octavia is a drug addict in the book, a plot that went to Clarke's mother Abbey in season 6 of the show, and funny enough, in the show it's partially Octavia who helps snap her out of it (although everyone else helps, including Jackson, who doesn't exist in the book.)

The 'criminal delinquents' are much tamer in the book, while the show amps up the Lord of The Flies shit to, well, to 100.

That said, I enjoyed Wells having a much expanded role, the love triangle between Clarke, Wells, and Bellamy, (she only has a platonic relationship with them in the show) and the different vibes on the Ark, which here in the novel is just The Colony.

Easily the best part of the book is Kass Morgan's use of short chapters that end with a barb to keep you hooked. I really enjoyed the threads of tension and glimpses at the backstories of each character, especially Clarke. Glass's past and actions were the most interesting to me and I was always rushing to get to the Clarke and Glass chapters, even though I liked Bellamy and Well's narration enough as well.

I kind of can't wait to read the next one, but it will have to wait, since I have way too many books on the go. That said I'm definitely going to continue this series. I loved this and it felt like high-quality fanfiction. That cliffhanger will kill me until I read the second installment! 

The Impossible

I spent most of the morning rewatching The 100. I'm on episode five so far, but I never get tired of this show. It's distracting me from my brother and sister-in-law's crazy dog Otis who I am babysitting while they're on vacation, and who has way too much energy for me to cope with right now. I try to keep him entertained but he's honestly bored by me and only cares about our dad, who is not going to be home for hours. In the meantime I'm distracting myself by trying to build up some work ethic and get some writing done.

I came up with titles for the next few books in the Divinity series: I already knew books 2 and 3 would be called Atrocity and Calamity respectively, but today I came up with titles for the rest of them. I don't want to share them yet but they're perfect.

Some kind of animal trekked through our yard last night. It had to be something big judging by the size of the prints. I think it was a big cat, like a cougar or lynx. I hope it was a lynx because cougars scare me more. I also hope I never encounter it.

It ran in circles around the thicket outside my window, then went up our back hill into the woods. I really hope it doesn't veer back this way because I don't want it lurking around, but I followed the tracks like a dumb person in a horror movie (I took a metal shovel with me in case I had to take a swing at something, but still)... I have no idea how our ancestors hunted shit like that. No thanks, I'm all good on the killer kitty front.

I spent all day yesterday reading the new run of Buffy comics. It's 34 issues and it's really good. I honestly hope they put out more.

I've only seen a few seasons of Buffy, but I genuinely love it. I never thought Xander would be my favorite character when Buffy is right there, but God, he won me over. He's an amazing guy in this run, at least for most of it, and some of his storylines are heartbreaking. He was a devoted slayer (even though he's not an official slayer, 'cause they're always badass ladies, not gents.)

I also finished Fables. Finally. 151 issues, give or take. I might read the 'Fairest' spin-off soon too, but I want to read the Buffy spinoff 'Angel' first. His comic and Buffy's had a crossover event called Hellmouth that was pretty good, but it's really part of the main Buffy storyline.

If most of this seems like mundane, boring stuff, it's because I was trying to distract myself from the hellscape on the news. Between the pandemic, the war, and all the political stuff going on, I've been so stressed about everything and the constant stream of exposure to bad news hasn't helped, so burying myself in fiction for the last few days is a familiar old coping mechanism. Especially since it's hard to focus on work with my brother's crazy dog running around here anyway, let alone what's going on in the world.

I will say I'm incredibly impressed by folks in Ukraine fighting for their freedom and country, as well as the protestors in Russia standing up to that jackass Putin. Vladdy-boy really thought his warmongering propaganda would work, but I think we're seeing humanity rise to the occasion.

I suppose that's all I've got for now: the world is insane, my house is in disarray and this dog is drooling and shedding everywhere. And a monster is lurking in the woods outside my window. But it's all good, maybe, hopefully.

I'm gonna get back to doing little scraps of editing and outlining work and hope I can pull my shit together, and the world will pull its shit together.

Until then, back to watching The 100 and trying not to get eaten alive by a cougar. Or a lynx.

Procrastination Nation

 Things I did this week that were not writing or editing:

• Replayed Horizon Zero Dawn
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• Cleaned out my wood stove
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• Started 3-4 fires in said stove
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• Watched art vlogs (by ImAWonder and Caro Arevelo)
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• Listened to old music
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• Listened to new music
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• Cleaned my floors
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• Complained about writer's block in my journal
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• Complained about not journaling enough in my journal
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• Wrote this list

And now I'm going to try and actually do some work. I don't know why it's so hard to get things moving. But once they do they usually stay that way for a while, so that's something, right?