Chaotic Array

Chapter Thirteen of I Am Your Fate is up on Wattpad! Only two episodes left in the first season, Break This Gilded Cage. Meaning soon the fancy, more polished, expanded version will be available on Amazon! For now, you can read the entire story here!

I'm stuck in editing hell again. I keep coming back here despite my best intentions to never write again, because it drives me up a tree, even when I feel like I'm having fun. Right now I'm polishing up the first chapters of Break This Gilded Cage (the first installment in my new vampire serial, I Am Your Fate ) before I write the last three. In non-writing related news, I've honestly just been watching zombie shows on Netflix and napping. I'm so exciting, huh? I spent my Halloween night drinking spiked coffee and listening to Spotify, so nothing too special is happening. I think I may put out a new chapter of Fascination on Wattpad tonight, though. So, slowly, the ball is moving forward on a few different projects. I just put Shadows of Ourselves on Pronoun for free, so once it's live maybe Amazon will finally price match? It's been a hell of a time trying to get them to do that--Shadows is on InstaFreebie and Wattpad, but Amazon doesn't really ca

I haven't forgotten about this blog. I mean, how could I? I have a long history of writing embarrassing, mortifying personal details on here because I like to pretend that nobody reads it. When I'm not pretending that everybody reads it, I mean. I've just been really busy doing things like writing, putting off writing, hating myself for putting off writing, and more along those lines... I've also been watching a shit-ton of American Horror Story and Riverdale, but you all probably have been, too, so you can't fault me for that. That's just how it is. Anyway, I haven't got much to say tonight; I'm listening to it rain cats and dogs outside, and our actual cats and dogs (including Roxy, the stray we took in) are all inside, safe and dry. I'm about to start drafting more on Dreamsinger , the sequel to Dreamseeker. In case you missed the new edition of Dreamseeker, it looks like this; The cover for Dreamsinger is even better. And it has a h

Fascination chapter 2 is up! You can read it HERE ~ Hope you enjoy :)

I'm uploading a new story to Wattpad and need this space to host this image of the main character for the first chapter :)

Forsake This Violent World is out! Finally! It hasn't been that long in the works, a few months in the most, but for me that's felt like an eon. I'm really happy with the final product; I think it's one of the best things I've written. It's dark and gritty and fast, and it introduces several characters meant to play important parts in later Liesmith's Sins books, although it works as a standalone title (I originally wrote it as one before deciding it fit with the series) so you can definitely pick it up without reading/knowing a thing about Shadows of Ourselves or the Liesmith's series. Although Shadows is available for free here . Forsake is about a girl named Ruby attempted to avenge her dead mother. She's a young bisexual witch with a complicated family life and complex relationship with her best friend. It's a story about grief, trauma, insecurity...and portals, other worlds, freaky magik, crows, daggers, gender & sexuality (ev

Hi! Long time no see. I've been spending most of my time wallowing in bed, watching too much Netflix. Sometimes I get a little writing done, though. Sometimes I even publish it O_o In that vein, I've got two new books out! The first is Beacon , a young adult urban fantasy which I've been teasing you guys about forever and decided to just go ahead and drop. (You can get it here . ) [$1.99] The second is Chosen, which is a previously un-announced spin-off of Beacon. It's a new adult paranormal romance about an unrelated set of characters in the same world, and you can (and should!) read it as a standalone. (Grab a copy here . ) [$0.99] I'll add new pages for Beacon and Chosen at the top of the blog! I'm also going to be fiddling with the blog design for a while tonight, so don't freak out if things look a little wonky or ugly for a while. I started working on an exciting new project the other night, but I'm going to try to reign

These are for Wattpad; a quote for every chapter.

Lucky you! I just put out a hot new gay erotic romance short that you can read for free on Wattpad here . Under His Touch is short and sweet and sexy, and it features a very cute, protective hunk with a pair of frosty blues. Clearly this is under my adult pen name, Cosmo Knox, meaning there's going to be explicit sex in it, so read at your own risk! You know you wanna ;) Aside from getting back into the writing groove, I've been watching a bunch of Strange Empire on Netflix. I've also been producing a bunch of music. I've been using Soundation & Looplabs, & it's nothing fancy - just digital instrumental stuff, like background music in video games, but if you want to you should check it out on my Youtube page . I'll have a finished version of Forsake This Violent World up on Wattpad and Kindle soon, and then I'll be working on putting out two novellas on the same day :) One of them is Beacon, and the other is a surprise, but

Chapter one of my new story Forsake This Violent World is up on Wattpad! The novella should be out sometime this month, but I'm still working on it. In that vein I thought I'd share a snippet! :) FTVW is basically a paranormal Kill Bill. It's also influenced by stuff like Coraline and Crimson Peak (freaky mansions anybody?) and good music I've been listening to like Astrid S, HANA, and the new Lorde. It's mostly about killing an evil crystal goddess, but it's got plenty of snark, sexy bits, and themes of grief, strength, overcoming self-hate, et-cet... I think this is one of my favorite covers I've ever made, and maybe one of my strongest pieces of writing yet? I may be biased, but I really love this main character, Ruby. She's a darker hero with a lot of emotional baggage and anger, and she's a lot more in-your-face about it than my other characters. She's fairly dramatic, but then, her life has been pretty dramatic. You can re

I don't know anything anymore, so I'm going to stop trying to figure things out and just float. I'm a mentally ill basket case so overthinking things is kind of my one and only skill, but I'll just have to work around that. Y'all probably have no idea what I'm taking about, which is cool, because neither do I half the time. But lately I've been really stressed out. I've relapsed with self-harm, I've been basically having an emotional breakdown a day. I don't think I'm alone in that regard because everybody has been stressing the fuck out for...a long time, honestly. Still, I'm at a point in my life where I never thought I'd be. I don't really recognize myself, know who I am or who I want to be, or where I'm going. So, I guess...I'm in my early twenties? I don't know. I didn't anticipate being this person. I can't say I hate myself, I understand certain reasons why I am the way I am, why it's so

Wolves is out! I've been so excited to share this story, it feels really vindicating to release it. You can buy it here! In case you missed it, Wolves is an urban fantasy featuring an ensemble cast. It has surreal elements perfect for fans of Welcome to Night Vale, but with a grittier, slightly more relatable edge to it. It's inspired a lot by the area I grew up in. The New Brunswick wilderness is very beautiful and the small towns and farms can be charming and also kind of eerie. In slightly less exciting news, I published a new edition of Blood of Midnight. I'm about to start writing book two (And, oh boy, is the cover beautiful!) and I wanted to spruce up the first book to go with its new cover. The changes aren't that significant. The chapters have titles now. There's a new prologue called Before: Pulse which I feel sets the tone of the book much better than the first chapter. The first two chapters have slightly expanded material, just new bits pe

Hi guys! I know I haven't been active a lot lately, but I have been writing. Obviously I'm always active on Twitter, but I like to keep this blog alive as often as possible. Right now I'm gearing up to publish the solo edition of Iceblood, as well as editing a new draft for publication. The deal with Iceblood is that I posted a couple months ago talking about how I was expanding it and adding in more of the world and expanding the plot. I did try that in several different ways, but eventually I realized it just wasn't working. I do want to tell those stories in Josmea, but I don't think they're Atka's story. I realized I like Iceblood as is; it feels like a complete, finished peace. That said, I've shelved the expanded edition and any idea of a sequel. I'll probably use those plotlines and scenes in other books set in this world, and I'm sure I can squeeze Atka cameos into a few later titles. That said, I'm just formatting the ebook n

I haven't posted in a while because I've been trying to work on stuff (and mostly failing) when I'm not in bed bingeing Sense8. I'm super lazy. They say depression makes you sleepy, that it gives you physical fatigue, and I understand that, but I also still kind of blame myself for it. I hate not getting things done or being able to focus on anything. I hate feeling like an invalid. I've mostly been spending my time designing and formatting book covers because it's the easiest, funnest part of my job. At the same time, I want something to put out. The other day I wrote the first bit of Beacon book two, finally. I think the Beacon trilogy probably will be my next release, if I don't hop over and finish something else first, which could always happen. I'm trying to finish book two by Saturday the thirteenth, which is scary considering how close it is, but I haven't been setting deadlines for myself recently and I'm determined to get back on t

I know that things take time. Especially manuscripts. I know that I should let things take time and run their natural course, but it's hard. It's hard not stressing out over my not finishing a book in months when I'm also freaking out about everything else. My human existence. Whether or not I or anyone else is a good person, or at all redeemable. If God exists. If ghosts exist. What the hell I'm going to do for a living. How I'm going to survive and make end's meet if I can't even get out of bed or dress myself most days. To be clear, I'm not making myself out to be some great victim. I'm not like, quivering and rolling around on the floor in a state of constant crisis. I might be close, but I'm not there yet. I just stress myself out. The thing is this entire struggle will probably remain forever a figment of my own emotions and imagination and paranoia, stuck inside my head, and I should ignore the fear and live my life to the fullest

I've been living on weed and coffee, which is probably not the healthiest diet, but also kind of the best one. I'm working on a fun new adult standalone set in the same world as Beacon that I'm pitching as Paranormalcy meets Kill Bill. It's got witches, secret government agencies that deal with the magical world, steamy romance between a witch and a beacon/werewolf hybrid. Writing has been really hard recently, and I think the only thing that will fix it and get me back in the groove is to finish another book and just get it out. Which is partly why I wanted to write a standalone - so I don't have to write a bunch of sequels before I can put it out. After this book is done I think I'm going to wrap up the Beacon trilogy and then put out a new Liesmith's Sins novella. Then I can attempt to finish the Deadheart Saga. It's daunting to think of writing a four-book series. Really, really daunting. I've outlined the first three, and although I thin

I wrote 1,300 words this evening and outlined the first novella in a new m/m vampire series I'm starting. I'm going to go write more in a minute, but I wanted to post another quick update. It's like, two in the morning and I'm listening to Lana Del Rey's new single Lust for Life while I write. I think what's so fun about this project is it's just for me. I really love vampires, and this is kidnap romance, which is obviously my favorite. It reminds me a bit of the seraph chronicles, but it's also definitely its own unique creature. I think it's a little more intimate and darker than that--it's easier for me to work with vamps as a cultural touchstone because I grew up on them. This is called Stolen, and I'm gonna try to put it out really soon. So get ready for gay vampire antics!

If I haven't been blogging as much as I want to lately, it's only because I'm trying to break out of my weird writer's block. I have plenty of projects to work on, but I'm not sure if I'm in the right place, so I have to force myself to sit down and hammer out words every day, and most days I'm only hitting 500 or so before I call it quits. For comparison, I usually hit 4k a day at least while I'm in the middle of a project. But that's not what's really depressing me. The fact that nothing ever changes has been what's depressing me. The fact that I live in the middle of nowhere with little human contact is what's been depressing me. At least now it's summer. I deactivated my Facebook the other night, and I think I'm going to spend a lot of the next two months taking daily walks down to the river or other nice little areas around my house. Back in summer 2015 me and Kuma were out running the roads a lot, and it felt like wher

No clue what to write today. I'll probably settle on starting my Evernight Falling Miniseries (Dru, Vincent, and Lucia as superheroes anyone?) but I have so many on the go it isn't even funny. I could start Iceblood or finish my novella Afterglow, but I'm not really feeling them. So yeah, it's probably gonna be superheroes. I really need to publish something that will make some money and I'm not sure if superheroes will do the trick, especially since these are both novellas and my novellas haven't sold as well as my other books. We'll try, though! I feel bad always talking about money like it's my sole goal, but I am human, and I do need to eat, and if I'm being honest I barely have the funds to do that right now. If things could get a little easier financially, I don't think writing would be as hard as it is all the time - some of the pressure on my shoulders would be removed. Often when I sit down to write it's not just me thinking, &

So. I'm changing my name. From here on out I'll be going by Kai Bishop. I really didn't feel like Jinx suited me for a long time, but I was waiting for it to click or settle into place, and it never did. I think one of the reasons I felt so detached from it is because most people would give me odd looks or outright laugh me off when I told them my name was Jinx, which was annoying. I can see where it might be hard to take that name seriously, though, especially after knowing me under my birth name. A lot of people in my personal life refused to call me Jinx, too, which was annoying - not necessarily because I wanted them to call me Jinx, just that I definitely didn't want them to call me by my birth name, either. Kai is a nickname I had for years long before the idea of changing my name at all was a gleam in my eye, so a few close friends already call me that on instinct. I feel like it suits me better. It feels right, it sits on my shoulders well, and it rolls off

Tonight I get to start writing the new edition of Iceblood! Wait, another one? Kinda. The last 'new edition' of Iceblood I put out was actually just Iceblood as a standalone. It was the same edition of the story published in Souls of Salt & Seawater, just available as a solo. This is an expanded version with new scenes and chapters, more romance, more fighting, and...airships! Obviously, I'm a little excited. The reason I'm writing this is because while I originally intended for the sequel, Anarchy, to be about new characters in a new situation, when I sat down to write it, nothing would come out. It just wasn't a story I was interested in writing. I wanted to continue Atka's. So now that this is an actual series - as in both books are about Atka and are from her pov, and you have to read them both for the complete experience, some things about the first book need to change. First of all I'm publishing the new edition under my Cosmo Knox p

I've been up for way too long, but I finally finished editing Beacon! I just compiled the ebook and I'm gonna read through it and check for any errors I missed in the line edits/formatting, but that's just to be safe - the book is done. Which means I get to post the cover! I'll be publishing it sometime this afternoon, so I'll post here & on social media when it goes live, but until then, here's the pretty new cover! Lilac Xia Jones is a beacon. Supernatural beings are drawn to her like moths to a burning flame, and the only thing she can do is hold on for the ride and hope she survives. As extraordinary adventures bleed into her everyday norm, dark forces begin to gather at the edges of her consciousness. Malevolent covens, demon boys, spirits, and vengeful goddesses have all converged on Lilac’s life—but none of them can prepare her for what’s to come...

It's 4am and I only just finished editing the third Lilac series, which means I basically want to cry. I still have to edit the final one before I go to sleep, and even after that I want to draft a couple chapters of something else. I'm taking a quick break before I dive into it, but I am going to edit it tonight, just so I can share the cover, 'cause that's how I roll. I also have nothing else to do with my time or energy so it makes sense to just write until I drop. I spent most of today sleeping. My aunt and her boyfriend came over for a while and I had no energy to deal with people so I just stayed in bed, though I had to get up and open a window because they were smoking and the house reeked. So now I'm up. Writing. Being productive. I need to put out more titles because the few I have out aren't selling well, which means I have to keep trying new things. I think it's mainly because: A) I don't do much marketing (I honestly don't h

I finished editing the first of the Lilac Jones stories for Beacon tonight so now I'm letting myself start drafting a just-for-fun paranormal romance and I figured I'd throw some writing music at y'all! So, here's what I'm listening to: Bloodstream by Astrid S (The title of this post comes from this song) Now or never by Halsey... I waited two years for this and I'm so, so in love with it. And, obviously, Burning Bridges by Bea Miller.

(*Title from the lyrics to Night Mime by Melanie Martinez) First of all, I need to point out how pretty and sleek this blog is now. It was pretty and sleek before, but the new blog templates are super simple and aesthetically pleasing. I've been meaning to make this space cleaner and more professional looking for a while, especially since I'm not interested in making a static author site - I find them boring and dated, and I suspect most other readers do, as well. That said, this page itself has been pretty static lately. Part of that is just me being the reclusive hermit I really am at heart and moping in a depressive state. I recently turned twenty-one and I always get weird and introspective around my birthdays. (Which is to say most of my days this month have been spent in bed, staring at the wall and musing about mortality and the human soul. Total downer, right?) Another part of it is that I've been on an outlining kick, writing treatments and summaries for a bu