But There Are Good Days Too

Last night I complained about marketing being too much work. I complained about writing being hard. I wrung my hands in frustration because every word I put on the page felt like I was stepping in mud, and it was weighing me down, and I'd never be able to finish another book.


Then, I took a break. Counted to five. Opened my wip. And I wrote 6000 words, almost without stopping.


There are good days.


You can power through writers block.


It just takes a lot of willpower. And lots of coffee. And maybe the chapter you put down isn't your best, but it has something special to it, some little flair you love, that's keeping you excited for when the time to edit comes. Sometimes that can be enough.


Rewards are little things when you write all day. We work alone. It's stressful, and tiring, and sometimes the best feeling in the world is knowing you hit the 6k mark, and that tomorrow might be a little easier.

Lessons & Reminders

A lesson that I've already learned but that the world seems determined to remind me of today, is that the world is filled with people who will take one look at you and assume they know the whole story. There are people who are determined to misunderstand or mishear you, and it doesn't matter what you say or how you say it, because they've already made up their minds about you and who they think you are based off of a single encounter, or a first impression, or a misread statement. There are people who will belittle and dehumanize you because your voice is scary to them or because they don't like what you're saying. There are a million reasons people, especially strangers, will use to be cruel.

Because it's easy to be cruel. It's hard to be kind.

And yet-

There are people out there who will take the hard road. Who will, even knowing that it will be a steep climb and a cold journey, still take the time to learn your soul. People who will grab onto you and keep their hold through every type of storm you can imagine.

And today has been hard. Because I'm thinking about how scared I am for the future and I'm thinking about the negative words people have thrown at me lately and I'm thinking about how much I miss my grandmother, and why is life so harsh on us? So what I'm reminding myself today is that there are so many amazing people in my life, there are so many gifts and tiny moments of light and love that I've been given.

So how selfish and idiotic and downright petty would I have to be to compare the good and the bad and somehow let myself believe, even for a second, that the bad wins?

So here's my challenge to you, for today, for this week, for this year: tell the people you love that you love them. Tell your reflection that you love yourself, too. Take solace in the silent moments you spend alone and in every comforting movement and smile that fill the ones you spend with others.

Look at the cruel people of this broken, ugly, idiot world, and love them. It's the only true power you have.

Daily Goals and 5Things or, Me Talking To Myself Every Morning

I've been doing these two things lately (lately being the last three days) where every morning I go to the same page in my sketchbook, and on one side I write down five things or virtues that I like about myself, and on the right side I write down three things I want to accomplish in my day, no matter how small or simple they are. I don't know if the 5Things has been helping, but I love the daily goals part.

I've been super productive since starting this, pushing myself to do little things like write 2000 words or do some homework or go for a walk. Plus, at the end of the day I can't say I wasted my day, because I accomplished those three things. I think it's a nice little way to get motivated, which is hard for me sometimes because of my depression. It's also nice on days where I'm not having symptoms but would otherwise be lazy. If you have a lack of motivation I really recommend it - especially if you're on a deadline!