Sometimes I Forget Homophobia Exists
I shouldn't, because I've dealt with my fair share of it. I'm a homoromantic, nonbinary person who came out at fourteen with homophobic parents (they're a lot better now) and relatives, who lost friends after coming out, has been followed in public for blocks by groups of men calling me slurs, been beaten up and derided by teachers and school administrators - you name it, I've probably been there. . . .
And yet. Sometimes I forget. I think that goes to show how supportive the people in my life are, now. How my mom will so easily tell me I won't get a husband if I don't learn to clean better, or my dad will casually ask if there's a guy I like - those may seem like little, everyday things, but once upon a time they seemed like impossibilities.
Once upon a time I thought I would live my life in hiding, locked to someone I didn't love and forced to have kids I didn't want. Once upon a time I thought that God didn't love me and I was going to hell.
And every time I remember there are still people and kids going through that every day, it crushes me. When I see people saying gay teens deserve to be beaten - or even killed - for their orientation, when I see people caring more about what others do with their hearts and bodies and souls than they do the things that are actually any of their business, it breaks my heart.
I'm so lucky to wake up everyday and have people who are kind to me when it's hard to be kind to myself. So many people aren't in situations like mine, with tons of queer friends and supportive, if awkward, families.
If you're in a tough situation right now, please just know I love you, and you have every right to defend yourself. Don't take this bullshit lying down, don't let yourself believe you deserve it - you do not deserve this hatred.
If you're feeling alone, just know you're my favorite lone wolf, and use those teeth of yours to tear out the throats of your enemies.*
(*I'm joking. Don't kill homophobes. Get them fired if their work information is public, but god, don't kill the stupid assholes. Bad things happen to queer people in jail. Orange is the New Black is a lie.)
And yet. Sometimes I forget. I think that goes to show how supportive the people in my life are, now. How my mom will so easily tell me I won't get a husband if I don't learn to clean better, or my dad will casually ask if there's a guy I like - those may seem like little, everyday things, but once upon a time they seemed like impossibilities.
Once upon a time I thought I would live my life in hiding, locked to someone I didn't love and forced to have kids I didn't want. Once upon a time I thought that God didn't love me and I was going to hell.
And every time I remember there are still people and kids going through that every day, it crushes me. When I see people saying gay teens deserve to be beaten - or even killed - for their orientation, when I see people caring more about what others do with their hearts and bodies and souls than they do the things that are actually any of their business, it breaks my heart.
I'm so lucky to wake up everyday and have people who are kind to me when it's hard to be kind to myself. So many people aren't in situations like mine, with tons of queer friends and supportive, if awkward, families.
If you're in a tough situation right now, please just know I love you, and you have every right to defend yourself. Don't take this bullshit lying down, don't let yourself believe you deserve it - you do not deserve this hatred.
If you're feeling alone, just know you're my favorite lone wolf, and use those teeth of yours to tear out the throats of your enemies.*
(*I'm joking. Don't kill homophobes. Get them fired if their work information is public, but god, don't kill the stupid assholes. Bad things happen to queer people in jail. Orange is the New Black is a lie.)
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